The Beauty In The Mess

Sometimes beauty can be so obvious, and sometimes I miss the beauty in the mess. I know it's there, I've seen it before, many times. When I remember to slow down. When I remember to forget..........to forget about the mess.

He was sitting on the floor with paper punch in hand and hundreds of little paper pieces surrounding his little boy feet. The yelling came before the eyes could see the beauty......I was so absorbed in the mess that I missed it. And when I turned around to look at this boy who said he "always wants to be my baby", his eyes welled with tears, barely able to get the words out.... "But Mama, I was just making you something special. Your favorite leaves."

I knew instantly I had to right the wrong I had done. I swept him up in my arms and hugged him......oh soo tight. I'm so sorry, I said. Won't you go and take your picture in the other room and finish it for me, So I can be surprised? Oh and Kole leave the mess........I'll pick it up for you son. Sometimes the beauty is in the mess.

"Live Life"

She remembers.......she remembers the everyday normal "living life" kind of stuff. The things that were always a given to me, things that were always a part of growing up in that old 2 story house on West avenue.

 It's just a pile of wood............

 It was just everyday normal routine for us. This "Living Life".

You remember my Mama's cinnamon sticks????
"Oh my Heavens yes I remember the cinnamon sticks. I used to love them. I remember the way your house used to smell in the morning before school. A mix of coffee aroma and wood stove smoke. It was such a warm and welcoming smell to me for... some reason. This time of year really brings the memories back...the apples in the yard and having to pick them up...getting wood and stacking it in your basement. Those are such wonderful memories for me. It's probably strange to most people but just being able to "live life" with your family was one of the greatest blessings in my life..I am forever grateful. Now, I try and let others in to our home to "live life" with us."

It's amazing to me how the little, ordinary run of the mill kind of things can make such an impact on some one's life.  How our life affected this childhood friend of mine. This little girl I often think about. The little girl my parents would of gladly taken in to be their own, if they could of. There was nothing extravagant about our life, no frills, no bells, no whistles. It was just an ordinary life. A home filled with warmth and love. I know the memories of her home are ones that she would rather forget. I know the scars run deep. But I also know that she has a forgiving heart because her Savior lives there. 

The smell of wood smoke still lingers in my memory too.......A memory of always having a warm loving home. A memory she only knows because my parents let her "Live Life" with us every chance that was given her.

 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing so, some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2

You will never know how much you could touch a person's life unless you open your door, light a candle and put a pot of coffee on. You will never know the impact you might have when you teach your kids responsibility, even if its just stacking wood in the cellar. You will never know how much it means to your daughters if you don't spend time with them in the kitchen. You will never know the imprint you will have on one of your child's friends if you don't welcome them into your home.

You will never know................Unless you "Live Life".




180. My Childhood Friend
182. The smell of our wood stove
183. Cinnamon Sticks
184. Every day ordinary things
185. "Living Life"

Pieces To This Ever Changing Puzzle

As a Mama, I have learned over the years that I play a big part in how the day starts out.......Where ever my mood swings, where ever it ends up, so too, will their moods be. I still forget, I still let my mood swing out of control, but I'm happy to report that my mood swings up more often than down now. It's now that I know each day is ripe with possibities.

You see, when you asked to be molded. You must prepare for the molding. Have Faith in the Refiner. I asked, and He made me aware of the places I seem to fall short. Oh and don't get me wrong I will always fall short. I'm not perfect. This sin soaked Mama is still learning and growing. The difference is, that I am growing in Him. And all of those empty, broken pieces in my heart are being filled with all of His warm loving pieces. Pieces to this ever changing puzzle.

I am a more loving Mama because I BELIEVE, I have FAITH in my FATHER. And like a caring, loving Father corrects his daughter, He is putting the pieces to my puzzle back together His way. And I am Grateful, I am Humbled, I am Blessed!

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

I've been searching my computer for lovely pictures, so that I could put lovely words with them. I came across this one.....Sometimes the words just aren't there. They say a picture is worth a thousand words.................Tonight I have nothing. There is nothing I could say that this picture hasn't already said.

Remembering His open arms stretched far and wide, as we share Open Door Sunday together.

Blessings to you and yours. May your hearts be open to what He wants you to hear this Sunday.

The Stones Will Cry Out!

 Behind every silver lining..........

 Above and below every hanging cloud...........

 In every mirrored image.........

 With every graceful flight........

 If you can't hear His creation, you are not listening. If you can't see the created you are not looking. If your not among the miracles than you are not among the living. You and I were created..............

With tree tops stretching their green canopy higher than their roots are deep. And the soaring feathered ones, perfect in flight, create a graceful, peace about them.
His creation cries out, I HAVE A CREATOR!

And as He was now approaching, near the descent of the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the miracles which they had seen, saying,


"BLESSED IS THE KING WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD;

Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"

And some of the Pharisees in the multitude said to Him, "Teacher, rebuke Your disciples."

And He answered and said, "I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out!"

Luke 19:37-40

Don't stay silent, you have a Creator. Praise God with a loud and joyful noise!

Autumn's Jewels

Two large, black garbage bags filled with Autumn's Jewels. I had only asked for a small bag, just a hand full would of pleased me. These two bags made it 1200 miles on the back of My Daddy's Big Truck.

But if you knew her, if you knew my Beautiful Sister, you would understand her "all or nothing" attitude towards life. She has always been that way........Ever since I can remember. And that's what I love about her. I love that she goes all out and leaves nothing left unchecked.

We took a break from the books, and even I took a break from being a grown up.

Did I tell you about the smell that consumed every thought that my mind had held captive after all these years, when I opened the bag? I'm sure I left my head in the bag for a good couple of minutes. Oh the memories blowing by with the wind. Like the leaves that get picked up with each gust, they dance in the sky and I imagine two little girls dancing in a whirl wind of Autumn's jewels.

I love the people in my life.........All these wonderful people are like Autmn's Jewels. Each with their own color, shape and size. All the Precious Jewels that God blows through my life. This is the time of year to remember to be Thankful. And I am..................Thankful, I mean.

But most of all in this particular post I want My Precious sister to know how truly thankful I am that I have always had her in my life. And I remember dancing in a whirl wind of Autumn's Jewels. So here's to you, my precious sister, my precious friend, here's to dancing in the wind and going all out or nothing.

175. Autumn's Jewels
176. The People In My Life
177. Dancing in a Whirl Wind
178. My Precious Sister
179. Memories

The Battle Of Light And Dark

I have often talked about Light. I've often talked of how important the rays of the Son are..........

But I must confess..........My eyes, they wanted no part of light.

I was sick all last week. Sick with fever, shivers and chills. The aches and pains were some times more than I could bare.

Illness is of the "dark one" The pain and suffering all starts with him.

And I, in my room wishing the light would go away. I was praying that magical curtains would appear and drape every window of my room. Because the curtains that I have are transparent, for the letting of LIGHT. A battle was raging inside of me. My flesh was fighting the Light.

Isn't that how it is before we accept His light, before we soak in the Son's rays?

Eventually after 3 long days of the Sun spilling through my windows, my eyes were able to take it in. And when the battle was won. The Victory was in the Remembering.........Remembering the frailty of life, Remembering to be thankful for your health. It's remembering to fall to your knees for those who have falllen ill. It's knowing that the Son has VICTORY over flesh, He has won the battle, He has fought the fight.

And in time, when the last battle rages within  and this body can no more, fight.............My Soul ..........She will take FLIGHT, out of the darknes she will soar to SOAK in the SON'S rays for the rest of her ETERNAL LIFE!

Hiding In The Shadows

Even among the shadows........ Through bursts of light.

Amidst the darkness.......... In the outlines of things living.

 Even among that which is covered up..............Among those that are draped in the covering of Forgiveness and Grace.

Amidst the living............In the warm rays of the Son............

 Stands the lifeless..........

Uncovered, Bare and unprotected. Yet, among the living the dead are still walking, searching, and losing hope.
It's in the shadows I find myself at times. Wanting to stay protected and covered from the dead life walking.....Draping myself with the dark one's given insecurties. Instead of draping myself with Forgiveness and Grace. Oh, to let others know what it feels like to be cloaked in His mercy!

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 1 Peter 3:15

Among the dead are those that live........for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Ephesians 5:14

Asking and praying for His Light to shine on me, when all I want to do is hide in the shadows.........

Praying With Silent Tears

Sinners all lined up, young and old. Waiting to partake in something so beautifully symbolic of the Greatest Gift ever given. Last Sunday we had one of the most moving, heart opening communion services I have ever been to. I don't know if it was just me and maybe it was just my heart being in the right place at the right time.........I believe your heart has to be open......opened up to all of the places that were broken.

So you can remember all of the places that he has filled, all of those empty spaces that used to be cracked and split deep. Because when you open your heart, your soul remembers how you once were, who you once were....  And it's in the remembering that grace will always be there to stay. Grace never leaves once it's been invited.

The Pastor had asked us to go back to our seats and quietly pray........But this time I had no words, there was nothing I could say. So I prayed silent tears, that's all that would flow out of me. I tried to speak, I tried to whisper words of thanks and praise, And there was nothing. 

Nothing but Silent tears..........Tears of thankful praise and disbelief that he could take this sin drenched Mama and turn her dirty life around. Disbelief that he could take all the fillthy things that I have done and make me as white as snow. It hurts to believe that he hung on that cross for this pitiful sinner. But loving this much does hurt.......Sacrificing does hurt.

Sometimes there are no words, but he understands the silent tears. He can hear them and he knows. And it's in the tears that I cry, I AM FORGIVEN! Those tears spoke more clearly than any words could ever speak that day.

It Does This Mama's Heart Good

 Last night I was doing some last minute things, things that should of already been done. It was 12:30 by the time I headed off to bed. But before my head had found my pillow, I decided to make one more peak into every door down the hall. And there at the end of the hall, Gentle Giant's room was all a glow. I was fixing to forget about my meek and quiet spirit.....I was ready to..................

And just as the Son warms the soul, nothing could of prepared my tired eyes for what they were about to see. This boy of mine had planned almost a year ago to read the Bible straight through. I thought he had given up.......You know how we all have good intentions, how I always have good intentions.

And there laying on his chest was the most precious book ever written. Resting in his hands, sleep had found his eyes, but before he fell asleep he let the living word fill his heart.

And it does this Mama's heart good. It warms my soul to know that he loves his Lord. Just before I came here to sit at this desk and share this story with you, Sunshine girl came and asked for help because she is doing a bible study. All on her own, without my prodding. And right after supper Butterfly girl was sitting in the middle of the living room, reading a bible story to my Little man as he colored a picture.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Did I say that this Mama's heart is doing good, as her eyes drink in the beauty that surrounds her.

The Finding And Seeing Of The Faded

I don't like to place too much emphasis on animals. I never want to take away from the value of human life, but I believe pets do have a place in our lives........I believe they are here for the teaching.....the teaching of one of life's most precious lessons.

They say that when a dog knows that it's dying, it will go off on it's own, all alone to fade away. That's what Josey did, Our family dog. Just two weeks ago she wandered off to slip away. My Gentle Giant found her. He found her lifeless in a pile of leaves near the edge of the woods.

He brought her home so we all could say goodbye. There is just something about seeing the end of life. Seeing prepares the heart for the letting go of.......we said our goodbyes each of us in our own way. Gentle Giant, he was quiet. Little man, just looked nervously on. Butterfly girl, she cried quiet tears for a week sraight in the darkness of her room. Sunshine girl kept her feelings inside. And Mama, well the tears didn't find me until I saw those big ole brown eyes that had stayed open with her last breath.

So we made plans, Daddy asked "where would you all like to put her?" They all agreed that Josey should be put to rest out beyond the the swing set where she use to watch them play. They made a cross and ever so carefully painted her name in left over model paint from an old project that was never finished. The little ones laid flowers on her grave, They colored her white cross with their crayons. All of this....All of the little things had helped them to say goodbye. It helped ease their pain.

And her death has opened up a whole new world of questions that needed desperate answers. And Johnny and I, we were there to answer. We were there to hold and to hug the hurt away.

Sounds kind of similar to our letting go doesn't it? The finding and seeing of the faded. The planning and preparing for the one who has slipped away. The saying good bye.........

My Daddy, he doesn't like to say goodbye. he says "so long for now." Because he knows that no matter what happens we will see eachother again. We know What comes next. He knows what His Ending will be. It's by the GRACE of God we are saved. We have made our plans, made our reservations. We are preapared for the letting go of.........

Is there a difference between that of an animal death and a human death?  We are certain there is a forever, an eternal spring of life for us .........If we accept it. And Jesus Came to save the souls of men, not animals. To my knowledge there is no reference in the bible that states animals have a soul. But, my little man, he has told me that he would like to believe that Josey is in a better place, And for right now that's ok with me. I don't have an answer to that question And their questions need answers and I'm still deep in research, deep in His word so that  maybe someday I will be able to answer that question.


166. Eternal spring Of Life
167. A Whole New World Of Questions
168. Being able to Answer Those Questions
169. Life's Lessons
170. The Gift Of Grace
171. White Crosses with Crayon Markings
172. Great Pets
173. Tears that need to flow
174. Searching His word for Answers