Remember Me with Smiles, Hugs and Sweet Kind Words

I watch her walk away from me.......It sure doesn't seem possible that she's grown. My sweet Summer Skye, where has the time gone?

As I hold baby sister I  hear the words...."Mama did you ever hold me that way?" "Mama did you ever talk to me that way?" And "Mama did you ever smile at me that way?" Her questions lead me to question.....When did I stop holding her, talking to her and smiling at her that causes her to not remember?

I swallow hard, tears well up in my eyes as I realize she needs more. More of my smiles, hugs and sweet kind words. She is walking away at a speed that I can't control. I've been told about how time flies and the before you blink moments......I'm living them now.


Before long she will be where I am....... I want her to remember me, remember that as I was holding her I was smiling and saying sweet, kind words. I want her to remember how much Mama adores her and no matter how old she gets she is never to old for holding, receiving big wide smiles and hearing sweet kind words from her Mama.


37. My Sweet Summer Skye
38. Smiles and Laughter
39. Summer nights
40. Sun Shine
41. Evening Walks
42. Golden sunlight streaming through her hair

The Teacher

When I see this photograph I get a glimpse of my heritage, another piece to a thousand piece puzzle. One day I would like to be able to put this puzzle together. Both of them were teachers, both of them are my Grandmothers. Two generations caught in a photograph.


I often wonder if that's where I get my desire to teach my children.........My desire and love for writing my thoughts, for tapping my thoughts on these keys.


Do traits like that really get passed down? Their blood does run through my viens, I am a part of them. My Grandpa use to say that I am a lot like my Grandma used to be, before she became ill. I never knew her then.....I wish I did. I'd like to go back in time to visit her. Before her mind was sentenced to life in prison.



Even though she was no longer teaching her students..... She was still teaching in her frail years. Before her death she taught her family patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and understanding. Through all the years of hurt and never revealing her feelings, never crying a tear, we continued to love her, hug her and kiss her. On her last days we heard, "I love you." and we saw real tears. That was something she was unable to do since her mind was locked away. She was released from her life sentence on August 8th, 1998. Even though she was not able to give her love in return, we were still able to love her.

Isn't that how Jesus loves....He still loves you even though you choose not to love Him in return.  Wanting you to make that decision to turn to him. He wants to set you free from your life sentence. For love is not love when you are forced to love. Love is Love when you choose to Love.

I Am Broken

I'm here in the quietness of it all, wondering if I'll ever get it right? If I'll ever be what He wants me to be.........


I look back on my life to a time before Him. Have I really come this far? And yet I have so much more to go, so much more to learn. For if you believe you have arrived, it is then that you have just begun.



As I toss the day about inside my head, He gently and slowly shows me what I still need to work on. I tell Him what He already knows and yet when I speak it, and I hear the words, the words that reveal where I have failed through out the day, They become real and alive. Sin seems to creep into our lives, sometimes unannounced and many times we are very aware. I find I am a repeat offender in many areas of my life.



How many times can you fail and still be forgiven?

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, when my fellow believer sins against me, how many times must I forgive him? Should I forgive him as many as seven times?"

Jesus answered," I tell you, you must forgive him more than seven times. You must forgive him even if he wronged you seventy times seven. Matthew 18: 21-22

It's unlikely that we will keep track of the 490 times someone has sinned against us. But isn't Jesus is saying you should always forgive, just as He always forgives us?

I believe you need to be truly broken from the wrong you have done and  realize that you are a work in progress, that this life takes practice.   But an apology said for a sin and then done again out of pleasure is not a free pass. Repenting a sin and knowing your going to do it again is not true repentance and does not clear you of the wrong. It multiplies the wrong, and you are not forgiven.


The greatest need for any sinner is to have his sins blotted out, but a man will never have the pardon of sin while he is in love with his sin. There must be a hatred of sin, a loathing of it, a turning from it. Repentance is a revolution in dealing with our attitude and view towards sin and righteousness. Repentance is not something one does with his hands, but it is an inward attitude of the soul. Sin must become, in the eyes of the sinner, exceedingly sinful.
By Charles Spurgeon

So when this day comes to a close,I'll go to the Father, asking for forgiveness.....For I am broken by my sin. Truly Broken.

51. Merciful Savior
52. True Repentance
53. Forgiven

A Soul Drenched Rain Washing

On a day like today I feel I need to be washed in rain. I would of went out, but the thunder kept me from getting my soul drenched. Have you ever just stood in the rain? Just to stand there and let it soak in and run down your face? It hides the tears if you have any.

On a day like today when nothing goes right and you seem to lose control of your tongue and your mind.....A dance in the rain cleans the soul. A soul drenched rain washing. It's been such a long, long time since I've played in the rain.

Water sustains life......A symbolism for a new life. And you shall rise up out of the water and be born again. Baptism is a one time thing, but a soul drenched rain washing should be often... I'm long over do.

This is our rainy season. Maybe tomorrow I can dance, play and cry invisable rain soaked tears. Tears of Thankful praise that I am forgiven much.  Understanding that I'm so not deserving of this Soul drenched rain washing. But that's why He is Grace and Mercy....


He did what no one else could do, what no one else would do. So stop working towards heaven. The work has already been done. He paid the price....Come dance in the rain with me.....Let Him know you need Him. You can't do this life with out Him. You can't go home with out Him.........

All Creatures Great and Small

These little creatures are in abundance out side our home. As a matter of fact, you can't go out side without seeing one or two. And yet, they usually go un-noticed for what they do.


They don't bother me, I actually like having them around, they eat the bugs. And living in Florida there are many, many bugs. We need all the help we can get. My kids have captured countless Lizzys. That's what they call them.

Ya know, they are so small, but yet they play a huge roll in life. With out these little bug catchers life would be unbareable out side. God seems to be in the tiniest of details.

Lots of times it's not all about the big picture. It's the small details behind the scenes that really pulls everything together. It's like that in our lives....It's the small quiet people that go un-noticed. The ones that do great things with out you knowing. And they usually like it that way, to go un-noticed I mean. So when you get the chance look around you, notice the small details and remember that without these small quiet creatures, animal and human alike.....life would be.......well unbareable. And if you know one or two of these small quiet people who do great things. Give them Great Thanks!  But if you don't, Thank God that they are there, going un-noticed by you, and not by Him.

All creatures Great and Small, God Loves them all!

What will your Legacy be?

On any normal given day I would of cringed at the sight of this. Frustration would of hit my face hard. But now after being seasoned in Mama academy. I learned that the years go by way too fast, and knowing I don't have them for too long.....

I must let it slide, like the water off a duck's back, just let it wash away. Is it really the clean and tidy house I desire, or is it the smiles and laughter I want them to remember?

I still struggle with letting it go. I like everything in it's place and there's a place for everything. But there is a season in life, when your a Mama, that just disappears in the blink of an eye. And I only get this one chance to make it the best season of their little lives. For one day their time will come.The time when they become Mamas and Daddys.........And I want them to remember......

That this Mama wasn't all about a clean and tidy house all the time.....that she remebered to stop and play once in a while, that she enjoyed life. That they are more important than the things in her life. For the things will pass away, but legacies live on and on and on. What will your legacy be?

33. Club house made of blankets
34. Smiles
35. a childs laughter
36. My Mama's Legacy passed on to me passed on to them and passed on to the Blessings to come.

The Box, Vessel

Why is it that instead of the gift, instead of what was wrapped up inside.........It's the box that intrigues them more?

 They played with this box for hours. Trying it out in each room of the house. When they were really little that's all they cared about was the box and not the gift inside. But isn't the box just as important? It holds the precious gift.

Just as the body is the box, the vessel for the soul.  The precious gift of life. We were told to take good care of our vessels because it cradles the soul until the vessel becomes weary and old and can no longer hold the precious gift.  One day our soul will take flight. It won't need the box, vessel. It's the decisions we make while the soul is still in the vessel that counts.

We need to take care of our box, vessel. We are here to reach other gift holders and to let them know of the gift inside, that the soul has a maker. A gift giver. The gift of eternal life is wrapped up in our heavenly Father's arms. And some day I'm going home to unwrap my gift and crawl up in His lap and be wrapped up in His Amazing Love.

A Little Static Electricity

My little one has discovered by accident the joy of static electricity. She amused everyone with her wild hair.

This thing that was actually made for the water, was just as much fun out of the water. And she stumbled upon it with out even thinking. She took it out of it's natural existence and it did just as well or better than what it was made for.

I think we all have a tendancy to think that way, that we are only made to be good at one thing. So we don't venture out of our comfort zone, out of our realm. Wether it's because of fear or that we just never really try anything new.

Failure is not such a bad thing. Lots of times failure can lead to success. That famous old saying "Try Try Again!" Rings so true. We try and teach that to our children. Sometimes your just not going to get it right the first time or the second time. Failure just means that you need a Savior. And with Him you can accomplish what is Good, what is lovely in His eyes.

Don't be afraid to dance out of your realm, out of your little world. Amazing things can happen, you may discover another God given gift. Your not made for just one  area in life. Your a creature of God, You are made to do many great things. For we are made in His image. Don't limit yourself and cheat yourself out of the many wonderful experiences you were created for!

I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I might share in its blessings. 1 Corinthians 9:22-23

And like static electricity was stumbled upon by my little one, you too, might stumble upon a little static electricity of your own and find out there are other things you can do in Christ.

30.Stumbling upon static electricity by accident
31.Created in His image
32.Discovery

Glory Holes Part 2

The emotional highs and lows of a hospital waiting room will take you for a ride if you let them.  I had to go and find a little spot.....to myself.  My mind would wander too much while I listened to everyone's heart being broken. I wanted to hug them all, but I didn't know any of them. I'm sure they would of thought it to be strange, or would they?

I had to stay focused on the positive...........

What I really wanted to do was follow that EXIT sign and pretend that him and I were never here. It was just a simple procedure. Why was I so uneasy?

And it was the volunteers in their Christmas green coats that made me smile. Bringing flowers to loved ones, from loved ones in a wheel chair. Taking time out of their day to make some one happy.

He has been here before......over 20 years ago now, he spent nearly 3 months in a hospital bed like this one. And the memories are still raw. My heart aches for him.

Then complications arise after sugery. It felt like my fears were coming true. So this is what it's like to have to lean hard on my Lord.

This is a first for me. I'm always depending on my man, and now my man has to depend on me. I'm scared I'm not going to be strong enough. Where will I pull my strength from? I don't want him to see me weak......I don't want my kids to know I'm really falling apart inside. It's so hard to keep it together. But I manage only through the grace of God.

As I was pulling into the hospital, Father God gave me the prettiest Glory holes I've ever seen.

And we are in recovery mode now. Not just him, but all of us. The emotions ran high. The hugs and kisses were always given freely, Now they are given more abundantly. We always talk about how fragile life is.  It's easy to talk about. It's not easy to feel the frailness of life.

And this is where I truly learn how to be thankful even for times like this. To look for the blessings even when you don't believe there could possibly be any good that could come from bad. When you think that you couldn't possibly feel any more love than you already do. Father God has a way of proving you wrong. Love grows like the flowers in the spring if you let it. If you allow it. Love conquers all things.

And even though this might not of been real serious, it surely could of. Things have a way of going bad quick. Remember to look for your God given Glory holes and pull your strength from Him. Ya know When I saw those Glory holes as I walked into that hospital I thought He was telling me that  I could take my man home right then. I never thought He was just reminding me of His strength and mercy, that He is always there for me......for you. Sometimes things just don't go as you might have planned them to. Just look for The Glory Holes and pull your strength from Him.

Glory Holes

Glory Holes, that's what we call them. When the rays of the sun shine through the holes in the clouds. I'm often out side this time of night with my camera to catch a glimpse of His Glory. I know that these pictures don't even come close to how magnificent He is.

But when my heart is troubled and worry creeps in I find comfort in the glory shining through these clouds. This is where I lift up my prayers and concerns.

And I'm worried.......just a little. It's nothing major. This is actually a good thing. But I am told any surgery is serious. And I love him, this man of mine. He is my everything, He is all I have ever wanted. In a friend, In a husband, a lover and a father. He does not like to be made of. All the attention drawn to him makes him uncomfortable, it always has.

And he needs to know that's how we care. That's how we show our love. That's how we deal with things that are major or minor in life. So I lift him up to you Father, this man of mine. The one who loves me through all of my craziness. The one who keeps me grounded when life takes flight.

As I see your Glory through these holes I am reminded how wonderful you are. And that we need you, him and I. We need your amazing peace to keep on shining through.

27.Glory Holes
28 My lover, My Best Friend
29.Peace that is given by none other than Father God.

Safe, Saving Place

Some times my words flow like a river, And other times there is not a thing to be written. This is where I share what's on my mind.

A retreat away from the chaos of the day. Where I can remember what this life is all about. Sometimes what I write is......Well it's just me being honest. It's a way for me to open up and show what's truly on my heart.

And this is how I grow in Christ, to share my life with you, to let you know I'm not perfect. I'm just a Mama like you. A Mama who still makes mistakes. A Mama who is still learning and growing.

Sometimes the raw nakedness of it all is the only way I can be set free from the wrong that I've done. It's a way of asking for forgiveness. He knows we are going to mess up once in a while.

It's our nature to be imperfect.......It's His nature to be perfect and He is that safe, saving place that you can turn to. Where you can show the rawness of your life. And He will forgive, because He is Grace and Mercy. I've been there, to that safe saving place. I go there every day.

Writing is not my profession. It's just something I've always enjoyed doing. I'm not here to boast or brag. It's just me, being real. I'm here, not just for me, but for you.  To let you know that it's ok that your life is not perfect,  That you can also go to that safe, saving place and ask for His Mercy and Grace.......He will be there waiting......... always.

And lo, I am with you always.