Christ Follower

We say it, but do we believe it? Do we tend to live it out right here in our little messy corner of the world? And oh......I'm not casting judgement with out looking at my own dirty little corners first.

Saying your a Christ follower is one thing. Actually following CHRIST is another.

It's easy to say I BELIEVE! Not so easy to live. Especially when the world creeps in to even the holiest of places......And we Christ followers, we don't understand. How in the world can this be? Not here! especially not here!

Oh Beloved, is there really ever a building that's so sacred, that not even the sinned soaked can't move into and take up space? And hear my heart.....I never want to put myself above any or all who walk in the doors that hold the CHURCH. You see, we have been told before that the walls are not sacred. That the bricks don't become holy, but it's the Christ lovers that make up the church. We are the Saints destined to be His disciples.

And we as believers, we will still stumble and fall. Please don't label me as perfect because I say I'm a Christian. I've messed up more times than I care to count. I still do. I still get myself into the muck and mire if I'm not careful. Just because I claim to be His, does not mean I have arrived, I am a work in progress.

This building you call Holy, holds all sorts of sinners. From baby believers to long time followers. We should welcome the Lost and broken. And yes they will see we are not perfect, but that shouldn't turn them away......although it does.

 I believe it's because we don't communicate with each other. I believe we create this facade unintentionally. We look and stare, talk and gawk. We forget who we are in short moments at a time until it's too late to notice the damage has already been done. We assume the worst and create upheaval by giving the silent treatment. We shy away from telling the Truth because.....Well because TRUTH hurts, sometimes. But speaking truth can also save so much pain in the long run.


When we see tongue lashers, liars, and ones with messy corners spilling out into the church, than maybe we should speak truth. Maybe we shouldn't walk away, give up and never go back. Maybe we should communicate in LOVE as Christ would.

²³ Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:23-25

So what can we do? Well I believe one by one we should keep our temple HOLY. By looking into the messy dark corners of our hearts and asking Him to clean them up..........And asking daily.

Being real. Messing up and being humble enough to admit it. Realizing that just because we are in a building doesn't mean that the building is Holy. It's the Christ followers in it that make up the Church. And if we keep walking away because we see hypocrites then where are we to shine our light? Because we are called to go out into the world and in the world there is darkness and remember the world also walks in and out those doors all the time!

Being strong in Christ and not turning your back on those that may need to see just a little ray of hope somewhere.........Even the ones that need to hear the truth once in a while. Even the long time Christ followers need to see hope as they walk through this life. Holding each other accountable. The darkness will flee, especially all the brighter the light  shines.

We as Christ followers seem to forget the power dwelling inside us. We give up all too easy. Call it quits when the going gets tough. And then we wonder where has our God gone? Christians He is our voice, our courage, our strength....He is our Heart! So when the world starts creeping in to all those places we hold sacred, Remember who holds your soul!

Christ Followers, YOU. ARE. THE. CHURCH!

Comfort Places And Awkward Spaces

I create spaces and places in my mind so that they can be filled with sweet life.........

And I live with the intentions of creating memories....You know the ones that you tie up in pretty ribbon just so you can untie them again someday.

And it seems I'm having moment after moment of ribbon tying lately. Mixing and mingling with faces in certain places and I smile because this is what it means to LIVE life.

Eating ice cream with 8 middle school girls and playing the game Quelf. Being silly and doing things you wouldn't normally do other wise. Because things like that bring you closer....Make you real and touchable. And I look into the eyes of all of those girls and see my once awkward self, so afraid I'll never fit in. So afraid to live........I just want them to know how quickly these years pass and one day they will look back and wonder why all the fuss......I have this amazing urge to love on them and to just let them know how beautiful each and every one of them truly are.

Teaching scripture and realizing there are things we may never understand, but we can try real hard to learn together and love on one another because in the end LOVE is really all that matters.

My Open Door brings in people who were once strangers but so quickly become close friends. And I love to feed people and make them happy. I believe in being loved by someone other than the ones that already do, because in this world we need each other for every season and so many reasons.......

My daughters and I were able to help a homeless man the other day. We gave him a bag full of needful things. And I am reminded how spoiled I am. And how I need to get back to "simple" way more than I do. This man had such a thankful smile. I was blessed by his simple words....."Oh Thank you so much. I sure could use this!" And I'm thinking I sure could use LESS!

Worshiping The God/man who knew me even before I was cradled in my Mama's womb. Singing songs that melt my heart and stand me straight up because I can't imagine sitting down with a love so strong. And my hands are raised most of the night....uninhibited, unaware of 600 other brothers and sisters singing and praising right a long side me.

I noticed lately that moments come more often when your willing to open doors and windows. When your willing to be real and touchable. When you step out of your comfort places and step into HIS awkward spaces. Living life is more than an everyday chore. It can be an adventure if your willing to see with His eyes and follow His lead.....If your willing to LOVE the way He does.

The more I trust in His lead, the more incredible life gets! It may not always be Sunshine and rainbows, but I'm learning that  in everyday there is a hidden miracle or two just waiting for you to discover ........It's what you do with the miracles that matters in the end.

So if I'm not in this space often enough please forgive me, I was never one that liked a strict schedule.....I'm probably out tying ribbons somewhere. I promise I'll be back to share periodically to show you all my hidden miracles before I tie them back up for safe keeping.

Love,
Me

Strawberries ~N~ Cream

This is an amazingly simple and wholesomely good dessert! Strawberries are in season here in Florida right now. So we have many opportunities to make up our own recipes, try new ones and stay true to the old ones. I wanted something simple but not having a simple taste and this is what I came up with!

You will need:
2 1/2 quarts of Strawberries
Honey {the real deal...not the stuff that has everything but the honey in it}
Molasses cookie crisps. You can make your own or buy them.
1 pint of heavy cream
1/2 cup unrefined pure cane sugar. { I know it's not the best for you, but it is better than that over processed bleached stuff!}
2 Tb. of corn starch

Wash, slice and hull 2 quarts of berries.

Place them in a medium sauce pan and turn your heat on low. Add a 1/2 a cup of unrefined pure cane sugar. Heat until sugar has melted and it starts to boil. This is going to be your Strawberry Glaze.

In a small bowl add 2 Tb. corn starch to 1 cup of water, mix well. Pour mixture in with your berries and simmer until it thickens. Remembering to keep stirring so it doesn't stick to your pan. After it has thickened turn off the heat and slice up some strawberries and add them to your Strawberry glaze. While that is cooling you can make your whipped cream.

I sweeten my Cream with honey....Mmmmm so Good!

Add 1 to 2 Tb. to a pint of heavy cream. Duhrool, Duhrool.......

Whip and mix and beat and whip and mix and beat some more until your heavy cream and honey becomes fluffy white clouds of heavy thickness.

This is the fun part! You get to layer your creation. Start with your molasses crisp cookies crumbled up in the bottom. Then your berry mixture, your whipped topping and more crumbled cookies. Top it off with your cream and add your cookie to make it pretty! Drizzzzzzzle the honey over the top and that's it! It tastes like you have been slaving for hours. It looks like you went to cooking school. Your husband will adore you and your kids will expect more tomorrow! *Smile*

Home Made Granola

This Granola is amazingly addicting! I wanted to make my own granola so I searched on line and looked at several recipes and decided to make up my own.

It was so good I thought it was worth sharing!

You will need:

• 8 cups of rolled oats
• a 1/2 stick of butter
• 1/2 cup of coconut oil
• 1/4 cup of molasses
• 1/2 cup of honey
• 1/4 cup grape juice
• 1 1/2 cups of brown sugar
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 1 cup of ground flax meal
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 1 cup of craisins
• 1 cup of dried blueberries
• 1 cup of chopped pecans
• 1 tsp. cinnamon

The first thing you need to do is melt your coconut oil and butter in a small sauce pan on the stove. Put 8 cups of oats in a large bowl add your melted oil and butter and stir well. Spread evenly on 2 cookie sheets. Put them in a 350* oven until oats are lightly toasted. Pull them out and pour them back into the large bowl.

Next you will want to take your molasses, brown sugar, grape juice and honey and put them in the small sauce pan over low heat until sugar is dissolved. You will want to keep stirring it. Then turn off the heat and add your vanilla.

Add your chips, nuts, cinnamon and berries to your oats. Mmmmmmm Looking yummy!

Then drizzle this sweet stickiness to your dry ingredients. 

 Mix well...........

Spray your foil covered cookie sheets with cooking spray and spread  the mixture evenly between the two pans. Place in a 325* oven for 20 minutes. 

Cut up into bars or............

Crumble it up and use it for topping your yogurt, ice cream, or put it in a baggie or a bowl and eat it just the way it is. Tastes so much better than store bought! I'm sure you could cut back on the sugar if your trying to cut calories. Or you can dig deep, pull up on that will power and refrain from eating too much! I'm diggin' deep! *Smile*

Happy Birthday Dr. Suess!

In honor of Dr. Suess' birthday today I thought I would share my favorite story "The Sneetches".  I could relate to the sneetches when I was a middle schooler trying to fit in, not because of racial issues but, because of popularity and peer pressure issues. To me this book spoke in loud volume! Even as a child, I got it! I understood what it meant not to have "a star upon thars". So later on I went and got the infamous star and found there was no best kind of Sneetches! The star only labeled me something I was not.

The Sneetches, by Dr. Seuss
Now, the Star-Bell Sneetches had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.
Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small.
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.

But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.”
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
“We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!”
And, whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They’d hike right on past them without even talking.

When the Star-Belly children went out to play ball,
Could a Plain Belly get in the game? Not at all.
You only could play if your bellies had stars
And the Plain-Belly children had none upon thars.

When the Star Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
They never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches
They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept them away. Never let them come near.
And that’s how they treated them year after year.

Then ONE day, it seems while the Plain-Belly Sneetches
Were moping and doping alone on the beaches,
Just sitting there wishing their bellies had stars,
A stranger zipped up in the strangest of cars!

“My friends”, he announced in a voice clear and clean,
“My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
And I’ve heard of Your troubles. I’ve heard you’re unhappy.
But I can fix that, I’m the Fix-It-Up Chappie. 

I’ve come here to help you.
I have what you need.
And my prices are low. And I work with great speed.
And my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed!”

Then, quickly, Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Put together a very peculiar machine.
And he said, “You want stars like a Star-Belly Sneetch?
My friends, you can have them for three dollars each!”

“Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!”
So they clambered inside. Then the big machine roared.
And it klonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked.
And it bopped them about. But the thing really worked!
When the Plain-Belly Sneetches popped out, they had stars!
They actually did. They had stars upon thars!

Then they yelled at the ones who had stars at the start,
“We’re still the best Sneetches and they are the worst.
But now, how in the world will we know”, they all frowned,
“If which kind is what, or the other way round?”

Then up came McBean with a very sly wink.
And he said, “Things are not quite as bad as you think. 

So you don’t know who’s who. That is perfectly true.
But come with me, friends. Do you know what I’ll do? 
I’ll make you, again, the best Sneetches on the beaches.
And all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches.”

“Belly stars are no longer in style”, said McBean.
“What you need is a trip through my Star-Off Machine. 
This wondrous contraption will take OFF your stars 
so you won’t look like Sneetches that have them on thars.”
And that handy machine working very precisely
Removed all the stars from their tummies quite nicely.

Then, with snoots in the air, they paraded about. 
And they opened their beaks and they let out a shout, 
“We know who is who! Now there Isn’t a doubt. 
The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without!”

Then, of course, those with stars got all frightfully mad.
To be wearing a star was frightfully bad. 
Then, of course, old Sylvester McMonkey McBean
invited THEM into his Star-Off Machine.

Then, of course from THEN on, as you probably guess,
Things really got into a horrible mess.

All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches,
The Fix-It-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches.
Off again! On again! In again! Out again!
Through the machines they raced round and about again,

Changing their stars every minute or two. They kept paying money.
They kept running through until the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew
Whether this one was that one or that one was this one. Or which one
Was what one or what one was who.

Then, when every last cent of their money was spent,
The Fix-It-Up Chappie packed up. And he went. 
And he laughed as he drove In his car up the beach, 
“They never will learn. No. You can’t Teach a Sneetch!”

But McBean was quite wrong. I’m quite happy to say.
That the Sneetches got really quite smart on that day.
The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches.
And no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches.
That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars and whether
They had one, or not, upon thars.

Chest Rub

For those coughs that won't quiet and those airways that won't open up..... If your like me you have probably been reading labels.......Way toooo many labels! You might want to try your hand at making your own vapor rub.

This stuff works great! I am a believer in essential oils. BUT not just any oil. I get my oils from Young Living. They are the only ones I trust to be pure.

For this Rub you will need:

2 parts coconut oil
1 part beeswax
I used RC essential oil or Raven. You will want a generous amount of oil, some where around 40 drops. In one batch I used both essential oils. You could also use Eucalyptus.

RC and Raven are oil blends. They both have Eucalyptus and Peppermint in them but after that they differ in their blend.

This is so simple! All you do is melt your coconut oil and beeswax together and then add your oils. Pour into your tins. they will set up with in 15 to 20 minutes. If your mixture is too hard or too soft you can remelt and add more coconut oil and or beeswax. The same goes for the essential oils. If you feel it's not strong enough, just remelt and add some more. That's it! Your very own vapor rub. I must say that it works better than the old familiar family friend we all grew up with and it's so much safer and healthier for you. The essential oils will actually break up the congestion and calm the cough, where the other brand only provides short term relief and covers up the symptoms.

I got excited and made a little too much! *Smile* But on the bright side, at least I'll be prepared!

Homemade Diaper Rash Ointment

This is my homemade diaper rash ointment. I've spent years going natural. It didn't just happen over night.  I'm still learning and researching and I have to tell you  at times what I learn is down right scary. I wonder if ignorance is bliss sometimes but, not in long term. Side effects will come, it's just a matter of when.

I believe and this is my opinion, you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to. I'm just a click away from  goodbye...but I believe in these times, here and now that we better get smart about our own health. We better use our God given brains and do some research on our own! A lot of colds and illnesses can be prevented and even cured by God's own creation. Do you know there is everything here on this green earth to cure what ales you? That is if it hasn't been altered by man.

I've witnessed some amazing things from going all natural! Well I'm not totally natural but I'm trying. This could be a lengthy post, but I'll keep it short and simple......

For this ointment you will need:

1/8 cup of Beeswax  (I used the little beads but you don't have to)
2/3 cup coconut oil
1 1/2 Tb of Zinc oxide (if you want more of a paste double your Zinc)
4 drops of Lavender oil

Why Zinc oxide?
1. It has both antibacterial and antioxidant properties.

2. Zinc is a trace mineral that stimulates your immune system.

3. It helps to coat and protect your skin. It forms a barrier against wetness and helps to keep your baby's skin dry.

The coconut oil has it's own antibacterial and antioxidant properties as well. It's great for your skin!
The Beeswax is your binder that combines the zinc and oil together and it has been said that this will not ruin your cloth diapers, if those are what your using for your Little Bundle O' Happiness.

The lavender oil is gentle for baby's skin and is a disinfectant and antibacterial oil. This oil is amazing! Heals burns quickly! Better than anything I've seen! Helps to aid in sleep. Oh the list goes on. I do have to tell you that if you are going to use essential oils PLEASE use Young Living! They are Proven, pure essential oils. They are safe enough to ingest and put on your skin and some you have to apply with a carrier oil. Do Your Research!

Directions to make your ointment:
Take your Beeswax and Coconut oil and melt them together in a small sauce pan on low heat. It doesn't take long. When it has completely melted add your Zinc and mix well. You don't want any lumps.  Then add your Lavender and stir until blended.  Put it in your little containers and there you have it. It's chemical free and good for baby's skin. Your skin is your biggest organ so what you put on it, it drinks right up!

Note: You will want to clean your pot and what ever utensils you have used, immediately for easier clean up!

I have been using this ointment for a couple of weeks now and I am really impressed! I made some that is like paste and some like cream. I love it and so does Zoey! It doesn't burn her skin when she has a rash, so there is no crying when applying! It actually heals the rash in minutes!

Now go and try something All Natur'al! Your body and your baby will thank you for it!

Why I love You This Way....

I've seen things and held on to places that had no right to take up space in my heart. I've turned a cold shoulder, disrespected those that loved me and walked with only one person in mind..........

I've made choices with out thinking of the consequences and held grudges so tight it could of strangled all that was good in my life.

I've walked roads that twist and turn with out a care in the world, thought for sure I was invincible and death could never touch me.........

I've had days where I was walking high and saw the world as my play ground. I had no fear of the path I had chosen.......

I have the scars of this sin soaked life and I could tell you stories that would make you wonder how I survived......

But on a cold winter night I remember falling to my knees asking, no I was begging Him to wipe the slate clean.....To make it all go away.

And you know He healed up my wounds. He loved my pain away but, He never took away the scars. They are still here, they have left their mark......

They are there as a reminder from where I once have been and how I never want to go back.

He left the scars, so that I can remember that He never left me back there. So I can see how far He brought me.

And to all my Children, I want you to know your Mama, she is so not perfect. She has messed her life up in so many ways. I want you to know that He took my ashes and he turned them in to BEAUTY. I want you to know that the decisions I make today are because of yesterday's hurts and struggles.  It's because I never want to see my past become your future!

I love you this way because I use to be with out Christ and I remember what that was like.....It's a cold, dark and scary place.  I see that now, Especially since I've been walking in the warmth of His light.

So if you think I make decisions about your life just to torture you or make you squirm you couldn't be farther from the truth........

I love you this way because I've been in a place I never want to see you go. I walked 22 years with out Him and I have to tell you that walking with Him is more of a gift than any one could ever give you this side of heaven!

I love you this way because when I look into the faces of the God kissed I can't help but melt and feel this unconditional, Christ like love......I would go to the moon and back for each and every one of you. If you want to know how far that is....Well it's 250,000 miles from the earth to the moon. And you all know I hate to fly...But I would do it over and over again just to spare you the pain and hurt of this world.

That's why I love you this way........

Love,
Mama

There Is An Ending To Your Every Day

Because there is an ending to your every day........

Let your hard, aching moments of this day set with the Sun. As He is keeping the stars all a twinkle tonight, rest in His peace and pray for strength in your tomorrow. And when things don't go as planned, regroup, take a deep breath and follow His lead.

Let go of the anger burning from with in and ask him to set you free from the frustration of this sin soaked life. You, Sweet Mama, are the one who sets the tone for your home. Don't ever forget the power you hold to keep a peaceful place of rest for those you love.

Sweet dreams and May God Bless your weekend!

I Want You To Know I'm Not Perfect......

I have to say I've learned so much and yet so little all at the same time. I'm not the one with all the answers. There are days I barely make it to the night. And yet, if I look back I can see how far I've come and yes how far I have yet to go......

I must tell you my life isn't perfect.....I just try real hard not to complain. Because out of the many things I've been taught if you look and dig deep, you can always find a blessing, even in the raw moments. And really, What good does it do you or any one for that matter, to complain?

I've learned that these days are morphing into years oh so quickly and instead of holding onto them I'm gracefully and slowly learning how to let them go......And my heart still aches.

I'm still learning how to create a loving home.......My meek and quiet spirit, she gets buried in all of the noise through out the day......I'm learning how to keep her bold so she doesn't feel the weight of all the frustration I let in.

No I'm not perfect I just want to show you the things I'm trying to get right. And in doing so I pray it encourages someone who struggles just like me.

So when you see all my pictures and posts and you come to me saying that I amaze you or that I must be perfect, please hear my heart....I'm far from perfect.....God's grace covers me daily. I mess up, fall to my knees and I try again. The pictures I post are the accomplishments I've made a long the way so that you can see, it can be done.....So I can see I actually did it.....But it was never on my own. I was never alone.

Our life verse should be, {or at least one of the many}


I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philippians 4:13

Now go take on your day, but Beloved, don't take it on with out asking Him to lead............

Take A Deep Breath

When you wonder in this World ....in this space and time if your really following His lead, just breathe because if it's truly what He wants, then He will open doors and clear the clutter. He will take away all that fills the mind and clear it with clarity.

I was sure I was following His lead. I was sure I was doing what I felt led to do.....

Then life got in the way. Babies they do cry and kids, they do quarrel......Headaches, they will come. Time...there never seems to be enough.

When I wanted to give up and call it quits.......He opened the doors, flung open some windows and blew in some fresh air so that I could breathe again. Littles fell asleep at the same time. I must tell you that rarely happens. My headache has finally went away. He gave me a quiet house and I was able to breathe in clarity.......

When you doubt if your on the right path.......

Take a deep breath and breathe in Clarity. Be aware of how He speaks to you. Never give up. He never gave up on you.

As always I am AMAZED at how He speaks to me.

Through babies sleeping........A quiet home that is always busy 95% of the time, but this time....This time here and now is the 5%...... 5% seems so little but, Oh how He multiplies it and sends it back to you! And He gave it to me so that I can give it back to Him. So Gracious.....So Him.

I am in love with the very ONE who created me for His purpose and not my agenda........

It's peaceful here on this Saturday afternoon and I must leave you now so that I can soak it in for just a little while longer......

Funny how He gives you just what you need just when you need it.....So that I can give those in my life what they need......

May the rest of your weekend be a blessing to you as seek ways to bless HIM.

But, The Way You See It........

I've asked this question before. You know the one....."Why do certain people come into your life?" The ones that don't stay for very long but, you wished they had. The ones that bring you pain and you wish they didn't.

My heart has been hurt in the past and I fear I have hurt hearts too......In those altering moments when life comes at you full bore and you wonder, What in the world just happened? And when your in the moment you have to ask, why?

Because the way you see it, you would have been fine with out it. Life would of gone on just fine with out the pain or the frustration.

And the way you see it.....the grief is just too unbearable......."How in God's Grace can I go on?"

And the way you see it, You've done everything just right. You thought you tried real hard. And yet it wasn't hard enough.......

No matter what you do or what you say.....they will never see things your way. When the apologies aren't enough. And you have to let go just so you can keep that one thing that makes you sane. And the way you see it you would of been better off with out them. Life would of ran so much smoother.

Sometimes people they come and no sooner do they arrive they disappear. You try desperately to keep in touch because your hearts, well they have become best friends.  Then the letters and the Christmas cards they return to sender, address unknown. I've been there. I was the sender........

I've lost people dear to me through death.....And over time after the grief I would have to say I wouldn't have missed it for the world! The love, the hugs, the moments forever etched in my mind.

No matter how people come into your life or why they go, remember It's all in how God sees it. It's what you learn from it. It's how you live after it. It's what you do about it.

It is God's Grace that helps you  move on. It's God's grace that helps you let go. It's God's grace that makes you stronger. It's all by God's Grace. It's how He sees it.

And when you don't understand while your drowning in the moment, know that He understands. He sees the big picture. He brings you out of the trauma or misery so you can be refined to see His Glory......His plan.

Know your never walking it alone. This is the battle ground before our final destination. He never promised an easy life, but He promised He would never leave nor forsake you. This life changing journey you are on......It's the way God sees it!

"Wait til___________."

Wait til you find out for the first time that your going to be a Mama.

Wait til you feel the first kick.....

Wait til you hear your baby's first cry......

Wait til you hold your little miracle for the very first time.....

Wait til you see the perfection of God in every little finger tip and baby toe......

Wait til you look into your baby's eyes and fall hopelessly in love.....

Wait til you brush your nose against his God kissed cheek......

Wait til the first smile, first laugh, first time rolling over, first step......

Wait til the first time you have to let go just a little bit and you feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest.....

Wait til the first time he says "I love you"..........

Wait til the first ride with out training wheels......

Wait til you teach her the lessons you have learned while walking through this life....

Wait til you tell her about Jesus and she says His name for the very first time, so precious.......

Wait til you sit in his first truck and your weeping over the steering wheel praying for his protection and you tell God that you don't want to let him go!

Dear mama, 

You will probably get a lot of "Wait til's" through out your journey of being her Mama. And regretfully I must tell you that most people will try and make most "Wait til's" negative. I want to encourage you. I want you to know there is so much more than the hard days and long nights. I want you to breathe in every moment as if it were your last and remember those moments, they don't last nearly as long as they should. You will find yourself looking back and wanting more.

I want you to know there is so much more to being a Mama than your days all done wrong. I want you to know it stops being about you the moment that sweet child is put in your arms. And when you learn to let you go and give them grace your time gets sweeter. I want you to know that this love you are about to experience is like no other you have ever felt before. 

I want you to know your journey doesn't have to be like others who have gone before...Dear sweet Mama, I'm still waiting for the terrible two's and I have been through them 5 times over. I'm still waiting for the horrible tweens and I've been through them 3 times over.....I'm still waiting for the rebellious teens. My teens are anything but rebellious...Honest! they are really good kids!

I want you to know I have enjoyed every stage, but it's not to say I haven't had my days turned up side down. It's to say there are more good days than bad. It's to say it's all in how you handle the situation, because Mama truly does set the tone of the home. I love my littles, middles, and teens! They are so precious to me...Funny, mischievous, creative, talented, cheerful, giving, energetic, stubborn, lovable gifts from my God!  

When God comes first in your walk, life just seems to fall into place.

So when the next "Wait til ________________________." comes your way, just calmly smile, nod your head and walk away from all the negativity and show them it doesn't have to be that way!

What is it?

It's funny to me, just when you think you have this God thing all figured out and then He shows you, you really don't have a clue. I thought I knew where He was taking me. I was sure He wanted me to go another direction......

And what is it when all of a sudden you feel that strong pull? When you didn't expect to stand up and say yes........What pulls you in the opposite way?

And when you try to find excuses of why you shouldn't, because really you don't have the time. Or do you? When all your excuses are excused away because He has found a way around them. He has found a way for you to serve although it might not be in the way you thought......

What is it when the chills, chill and the goose bumps, bump? When your thoughts gravitate to something or someone other than you or what you had in mind.....

I was apprehensive...I said I had to think it over and pray.

Come Sunday morning He spoke to me through out the service. And what is it when you feel like your the only one in the room among hundreds? When the message was made for just you........When the answer was in the preaching...

He may not be sitting directly in front of you giving you the answers to all your questions. But if you are still just long enough, If your sincere at heart, He will show you in all the small ways. In all the chilled goose bump ways. He will talk to you in a Sunday morning Sermon. He'll pull out all the stops, excuse all of the excuses and show you, you had the time all along.

He speaks to you through your Husband pushing you out of bed to get ready for Church. He speaks to you through your children reading their Bibles late at night. He speaks to you through the rising of the sun and as it sets to tell you your day is done. He scatters the stars and showers the rain. He blows the wind on a hot summer day. He brings the thunder and calms your storm.

He is what makes you feel and think the way you do. He is what pulls you in the opposite way of where you wanted to go. He is all the answers......... to your, What is it?

He is God


And who knows....that direction I wanted to go in, may be in the near future. This may be just a stop along the way, a stepping stone to prepare me for what's next.....

Blessed Beyond Belief

She tries so hard to love unconditionally. She's done so well up until now......

She's been wanting to sit in my lap a whole lot more lately. Wanting to hug and kiss just a little more often. She caresses my cheek and whispers "My Mama" and I whisper back "my Autum." and I'm struck with the reality all over again how time waits for no one. So I hold on just a little tighter because I feel that all too familiar feeling of losing my grip.

Baby Zoey is cooing and gooing as she smiles at her big sister, but big sister pushes her away for the first time today. My heart hurts because somewhere along the line I've missed it. I've missed all the warning signs again. Some how she went from adoring her to not wanting her. 

I've been through this before with my little man...the one who says he "always wants to be my baby."

With each child there is a precious love...no more no less. I never knew a heart could hold so much. It's amazing to me, this Mama journey. There is nothing that compares. Nothing else can make you ride through so many emotions. Nothing else can make you feel like a complete failure one minute and the next your over joyed and can't believe God blessed you with the awesome responsibility of being their Mama. Nothing else can fill your mind with frustration, confusion, and overwhelming fear that you may have ruined their lives.

And there are times when all I want to do is live right there in the moment and just soak it all in....and there are times when all I want to do is move on to the next moment fast.

Nothing else makes you want to freeze time and wish time away all at once. Being a Mama can make you feel proud and guilty. Being a Mama can fill you with fear and worry...and Oh I know it's a sin to do both of those but, I also know there probably isn't a Mama out there that hasn't felt both.....It's the nature of the sin soaked. I also can tell you that you can get both of those emotions in check when you check in with the one who holds their future.

And in that moment right when she pushed her away she realized what she had done...She quickly caressed her cheek and whispered "My baby Zoey."

She's doing so well...She loves her so much...She's finding it awfully hard to share her Mama. So many changes in her little life. From being a big sister to being a big girl and wearing big girl panties.......If I Kiss those sweet cheeks, whisper "My Autum" and hold her close through out the day I believe she will make it through this...We will make it through this.

Nothing else can make you want to walk away and then regret leaving the minute you walk out the door. There is no greater human Love than the love of a Mama.....

And to my Mama...I now understand so much more! I feel your heart and hear your voice. I can honestly say I know how you feel.......

Blessed Beyond Belief!

Our Year in Snap Shots

A year full of moments captured in snap shots....

It's been a year full of moments. They've captured my heart and filled my mind. I am in awe of how time changes the faces of the ones who call me Mama. I am always amazed to see God weaving in and through out our lives. We all have aged not only in time but in wisdom......

My New Year prayer is this....... As we continue to age may our moments glorify Him. As we live and make  memories may they carry us from generation to generation. May His truth live on in our hearts as they intertwine and create the branches of our family tree. May His word  forever be the roots that keep us grounded in His love.

I pray that we grow and reach out. May we stretch out our branches toward the Son and bask in his light.

I am thankful for this past year full of firsts, Bitter sweet 16, new life, cherished memories and yes even the tears. With each stepping stone came wisdom, conviction, love, truth, and sweet moments never to be forgotten.

Lord knows I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes, talked when I should of listened, acted when I should stayed still, and stayed still when I should of acted. Lost all track of time, misplaced my priorities, thought about me instead of others .......but then I look at the snap shots and I see so much more than my sin soaked self.  Sweet blessings and strong Love. I see moments where I've learned so much.....And moments that I may never get again. I see life being lived. I see Grace and Mercy. I see GOD!

I'm just a sin soaked Mama learning how to love like my Savior.

Happy New year to all and may God Bless you with moments that encourage you to look for the blessings even when there are tears and mishaps, mistakes and failures. He can take all of those things and wrap them in pretty ribbon to work them out for good for those who love Him. Someday you will be able to unwrap what you thought was worthless and you will be able to see the beauty in the mess.

Share your "beauty in the mess" with others....they need to know His Love can re-build all that was broken.

I'm looking forward to the New Year!