When I'd Given Up, Shut The Door And All But, Said Goodbye.....

When I'd given up, shut the door and all but said goodbye......My little man reminds me how precious this life. How never giving up on any one should be a priority.

I've always been quick to slam the door when one has proven my patience short. And although I can say that I have tried. Over and over again I have tried to see things new. To forgive and move on. But when sin is constant. When it's never ending and there is not one sorry, not one thank you, I tend to shut down and give up....

But not my little man. He sees a lost soul and his heart literally aches and bleeds for this soul. No matter how hard it is to continue giving grace he still pushes forward and moves on as if he is on a mission. And yesterday I was put to shame....

Beginning announcements, prayer request and praises at our homeschool co-op yesterday and my little man raises his hand. "I want to pray for Daniel. Every night before I say my prayers I ask Daniel to come pray with me. And every night he sighs heavy not really wanting to, but doing it to keep me happy." And if I could of scooped my little man up in my arms I would of.....but no one would of understood why.....They don't know our plight.

You see we've been on this journey my family and I, We've taken one in from a far away land. And here in our home where two cultures literally collide we all have been put to the test. And I must say I've failed miserably.....

Hosting people in my home, that's what I do. To feed people and make them happy....that's what I love to do! And at some point what I love to do has turned into a chore. I hate that it has turned out this way. But I have to be honest it's not at all what I had expected. I expected laughter and wonder. Learning and growing. Gaining a good friend.........

I believe my expectations were set way too high. And that's my fault.

I never knew little man was praying with him. I never knew in the whole 3 months he has been here....until yesterday. And this is where I have no words. I humbly admit my eight year old son is wiser than I. His heart is larger than mine. I know better, I should know better.

And although our worlds are different, we still are created by one maker. A maker that sent Grace and Mercy, that teaches Forgiveness and Peace.

What ever you do with your hands do it with all your might. Serve others as though you were serving unto the Lord.  All this, floating above my head. I've often asked God what His purpose was, what I was suppose to be learning? I believe I have been shown through the words and actions of my little man yesterday.

Where you see bitterness and anger, one with out hope, He sees a lost soul. When you have given up, He never does and neither should you. When you think you were the one to give something, to teach them something and you were actually the one who needed to learn and receive. Serve with JOY because you have a JOY like no other. You don't serve to get thank you's or admiration, a "that a girl" or a pat on the back. You serve because of the love and the grace that was given you. You do it for Him. Because He did it all for you.

We have 8 days left....At this point I feel that all I can do is pray. I should of been praying all along. Somethings just go way beyond what we can handle, but should we really even handle anything by ourselves?  My little man knew exactly what to do when nothing else seem to work..........He knew to fall to his knees and pray! And he started right from the very beginning.