If I Were To Be Honest

I had a friend tell me today that I put her to shame because of all the things I post on my wall, all the things that I think I'm good at. And when I read her words, I felt like such a fraud.......Cause if I were to be honest, I mean really honest, would the picture I paint be just as pretty?

If I were to tell her that we had our first day of school today and it didn't go nearly as well as I wanted it to. It actually went rather bad. This sin soaked Mama raised her voice and lost her temper. The baby was fussy and I gave up and threw in the towel.......My computer wouldn't work and I questioned why me?  I threatened to send them to public school....... On the very first day.........

And if I were to be truly honest, I would tell her that I stayed grumpy all day.  Even after they had apologized, my mood, well it still didn't change..........

And if I were to be honest, I would tell her that my house is a mess right now, as I tap out my short comings for all to see. I would tell her that there are still dishes in my sink at 10:23 p.m. And my toilet needs scrubbing, that there is toothpaste in butterflygirl's sink. If I were truly honest, I would tell her that I didn't cook supper tonight. I didn't want to.........

I am ashamed......Ashamed for painting a picture that didn't portray all of me. Ashamed that I didn't paint the bad with the good. I want you all to know that I am REAL. I have the dust bunnies that never go away, and the days that don't turn out right.

I am the joy crusher when life doesn't go my way.

I am a Mama trying her best to get it right......and sometimes I do, But lots of times I don't. And this Mama needs A Soul Drenched Rain Washing , for her soul is filled with mud and it's weighing her down tonight.

I go to the kitchen  to get a drink and there on the fridge speaking louder than life, is my JOY magnet.

"Be joyful always"1 Thessalonians 5:16

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds " James 1:2

So my dear friend, I'm not who you think I am. My portrait is not painted in perfection, but rather painted with trials and errors and with a little dab here and there of Some artistic flare.  I'm a work in progress, my tapestry has yet to be finished.