A place of encouragement:

Living By Faith, Walking in the Light, Saved By His Amazing Grace

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

If I Were To Be Honest

I had a friend tell me today that I put her to shame because of all the things I post on my wall, all the things that I think I'm good at. And when I read her words, I felt like such a fraud.......Cause if I were to be honest, I mean really honest, would the picture I paint be just as pretty?
If I were to tell her that we had our first day of school today and it didn't go nearly as well as I wanted it to. It actually went rather bad. This sin soaked Mama raised her voice and lost her temper. The baby was fussy and I gave up and threw in the towel.......My computer wouldn't work and I questioned why me?  I threatened to send them to public school....... On the very first day.........
And if I were to be truly honest, I would tell her that I stayed grumpy all day.  Even after they had apologized, my mood, well it still didn't change..........
And if I were to be honest, I would tell her that my house is a mess right now, as I tap out my short comings for all to see. I would tell her that there are still dishes in my sink at 10:23 p.m. And my toilet needs scrubbing, that there is toothpaste in butterflygirl's sink. If I were truly honest, I would tell her that I didn't cook supper tonight. I didn't want to.........
I am ashamed......Ashamed for painting a picture that didn't portray all of me. Ashamed that I didn't paint the bad with the good. I want you all to know that I am REAL. I have the dust bunnies that never go away, and the days that don't turn out right.

I am the joy crusher when life doesn't go my way.

I am a Mama trying her best to get it right......and sometimes I do, But lots of times I don't. And this Mama needs A Soul Drenched Rain Washing , for her soul is filled with mud and it's weighing her down tonight.
I go to the kitchen  to get a drink and there on the fridge speaking louder than life, is my JOY magnet.

"Be joyful always"1 Thessalonians 5:16

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds " James 1:2

So my dear friend, I'm not who you think I am. My portrait is not painted in perfection, but rather painted with trials and errors and with a little dab here and there of Some artistic flare.  I'm a work in progress, my tapestry has yet to be finished.

3 comments:

  1. You are who I think you are. A sinner beautifully saved by grace. Just like me!

    Love you forever in Him!

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  2. Thanks for being honest :) I am one of those who compares myself to others and constantly feels less than. So as much as it hurts to yell at the kids, and then admit it to us....Some of us need to know each other on that level too. Thanks, Kimmy.

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