The Missing Red Sock

I knew something was not quite right with my littlest man this morning. His face started out long and sad. His feelings were hurt but he would not say why. This boy of mine who keeps things inside for awhile until they come bursting forth. Just as if the hurt was so intense he couldn't hold it in, no matter how hard he tried.

And what brought this on? How did I find out what was bothering him? It was all because of the missing red sock. He came to me, tears streaming down his face....when I asked what was wrong, He said I lost my sock. We both knew it was more than the missing red sock.

So we searched together for the missing red sock and I searched his face for a smile. The sock was found, but his smile was still lost.

I had become too busy, too preoccupied. some one had taken his spot. This little boy of mine thought he was being replaced, and by a girl none the less. Tears flowing like a river as he is finally spilling his heart after 4 weeks of keeping it in. bottling it up. He thought he could handle it, I thought he was handling it. So I stopped paying attention. I stopped looking his way.

And now it's late at night and my tears are flowing like a river. My little baby boy, I told him he would always be my baby. Before she had even arrived, I made sure he knew he was not going to be replaced. I promised myself that I would pay attention, that I would not let him feel the way he his feeling. And some how it happened............ it had happened anyway.

Then God worked in ways that only He can, and gave us the time we needed.......The house was empty and baby sister was sleeping. Just him and I hugging on the couch and I take his little cheeks in my hands and begin to try and explain to him about a mother's love. How this Mama plays no favorites, that my love for him is so strong. But to be honest, It was the holding on to him and not wanting to let go hug that spoke so much louder than my words ever could. He started to melt, his little hand touching mine in forgiveness...