Trust

August rolls in on hot, heavy, humid air. I went about my day chasing after a little blonde headed child I'd like to call my own.....but I know all too well that she's only mine to borrow. I finish snapping beans and filling jars. I clean the place where Love settles in. Moved my way into the bathroom and between scrubbing sinks and chasing the laughing shrills of a impy little girl.......I remember this, He loves me unconditionally with out a catch. There is no hidden agenda, no throwing my past back in my face. all is forgotten, all is forgiven.

I no longer have to prove myself to any one. I no longer have to fear trust.....I no longer fear trust being broken...not by Him. After years of walking sin soaked...Years of walking with the sin soaked I've learned that there is not one that is perfect....Not one you can count on fully. We always have the best of intentions, I always have the best intentions and yet I still let you down.........Your bound to let me down.

Oh don't get me wrong I don't want to hurt you and you, you try so hard to be loved by everyone. But this crazy mixed up world gets in the way and not every one is gonna love you. You can't be loved by everyone.....But there is ONE that will love you always.......No matter what you do, or how often you call, He will never tire of hearing from you. His trust will never be broken, His love is the unconditional kind, the kind that never walks away.....He'll never walk away.

Do you remember when we were little girls and the days seemed golden. The wind blowing through our hair, riding in the hay wagon. Everything seemed so safe then. We were safe then.......We always had each other. I could always count on you and you, me. And the funny thing is I know with out a doubt you still got my back. And I know there are still those times when you feel I've let you down......but I never mean to......I still let the flesh in. BUT KNOW THIS...No matter what, I will always love you. ALWAYS! And when this world comes crashing heavy down on your shoulders and you think you can't bare any more.....I'm here, I'll always be here. Most of all You need to realize that I'm not the one you need to lay your trust upon....The sin soaked will let you down.  

The God/Man wants to show you something, that through all this, the heart break, disbelief, regrets, broken trust you have someone that is forever faithful. His promises are good. With Him you never have to fear trust. But in order to get over what has caused you pain you have to TRUST that He will get you through this. And I know this is like no other that you have gone through before. And me, I'm wondering why you let someone hurt you this bad. Why your still letting it control you. But then again you were the one with the heart on your sleeve and me, I was the one that built walls and locked the hurt out. And it seems you needed me and I, you. You need to rebuild some walls, make them strong with God's strength. And I guess sometimes I should wear my heart on my sleeve.........

My prayer is that you don't let this consume you. Don't let this cripple you from living the life you were called by God to live........And who is loving it that your heart and hands are bound from doing what you love to do? You know the answer to that one. Don't let the devil have the upper hand...........He wants nothing more than to see you broken like this.......

My prayer is that God will fill your life with a love that is so overwhelming, With a trust that is all consuming and with a fire that will ignite your God given gift and that is to write, sing and play for every soul that is willing to hear your beautiful angel voice!

And I remember two little girls singing their very first song they had ever written.....

"Jolla Beath, Jolla Beath, kit kat didn't want any food. Bona wanna wuh. Jonah Beath came Rolling home.....

I love you........