My tongue cracks hard, like the sound of a whip. Here I go treading this same road again. She didn't mean to, she just bent down to give her baby sister a kiss, when her duffle bag came swinging around and hit the smallest one in the head.
Like a Mama bear protects her cubs, the teeth start to show and the loud roar begins. But it came at the wrong time. The anger should of never been. It was just an accident. I knew that, I lashed out before I had a chance to hold it back.
My heart hurts....and she is not here for me to hold and tell her how sorry I am. I have to wait two days. Two days in thought of how my words cut deep and drew small tears. Two days before I can tell her how much she means to me. Two days before I am able to ask for forgiveness.
The phone rang after she left. It was her asking how baby sister was. I told her she was fine, that it just scared her. Scared me. I love you I said....."I love you too." Still I wish I could hug her and tell her I love her. This Beautiful girl that one day will move mighty mountains with her faith. I could learn a thing or two from her wisdom, I'm learning now. Sometimes I think she is so much further beyond where I need to be.
She is my sunshine when my skies are grey. My little sunshine you'll never know dear, how much I love you!
Forgive me.
She has already forgiven you because she knows your heart--the heart of a loving, not perfect, mother. I know how sad it makes us to hurt our children. But I also know that when we model right relationships, we're teaching them to do the same. When Chyanne wrongs someone else one day, she will more quickly seek forgiveness because you showed her the way.
ReplyDeleteIt was wonderful to see you and all your girls the other night. I'm grateful to be your friend.