Getting Lost in the Clouds

As the clouds roll in I get lost in thought, lost in the puffy whiteness of it all. Some days I wonder.......I wonder how in the world did I get here. I was called, called to be His servant. Called for His purpose, not mine. It was never about me. Even before I knew Him, He knew me.  In all my weakness. He saw how dirty my soul had become.

And yet He still chose me. Waiting for me to find Him. Ever so patient with me, knowing that when the time was just right I would come around.

With tears filling my eyes and feeling so ashamed I knelt down, took His name and wrote it on my heart. And as His mercy flowed over my soul and His grace picked me up. I became His child. Every horrid thing I had done, had been forgotten.

I must confess, that it wasn't till much later when I discovered that one little prayer of asking Him to come into my heart was not a free ticket, not a right of passage to do whatever I wanted. Saying I'm sorry and then doing it again, was not living for Him. I was still living for me.  True repentance is what He is after.  Forgivness is what I seek, everyday. Slowly I am becoming the child He wants me to be.

And yet His mercy still flows and His grace still comes. He is ever so patient with me. He directs my path and shows me the way.......He shows me the way, every day, because I still fall, I still fail.

Wisdom comes to those who are humbled to learn. When you believe you have arrived....It is then that you have just begun. For you truly will never know it all, but you surely can learn much on this fleeting moment we call life.

My moments in the clouds are all too often, too few. That, I am still learning.....I'm learning how to make time to get lost in His puffy whiteness. It is there that I find Him and I can think more clearly when I come down.

His mercy still flows and His grace still comes.