Letting Go

Two months is a long time when your 6. It's a long time to be apart. They are inseperable. Most of the time little one is Gentle Giants shadow. He looks up to him respectfully and literally. I swear he grew into a man since he has been gone. I feel like I've missed out on so much.

You can actually see them growing right before your eyes. And no one really told me that this is how fast life would go. That it would travel at the speed of light. I'm trying to hold on......to hold on as tight as I can, but I feel I'm losing my grip. 

I know you have to let go, but not now.....Please, does it really have to be now? I'm not ready. And how do you really prepare your heart for the letting go, the letting go of your babies. I'm guessing it would take a lifetime, because I can't imagine that you could ever do it completetly. The letting go I mean.

 It took me awhile to fall asleep last night. Excited to have them all under one roof. And the memories, at least a thousand floating in my head of how little they all use to be. And this funny thing called life, and how this body is just a vessel for what really makes you alive. How this vessel can only hold on to your spirit for so long....and then it has to let go, to losen it's grip. And how you prepare for the letting go of this life.

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not  worthy of me. Who ever finds his life will lose it, ans who ever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Matthew 10:37

123. Sweet Time
124. This Funny thing called Life
125. Preparing to let go
126. Big Hugs
127. My Gentle Giant
128. His little Shadow