A place of encouragement:

Living By Faith, Walking in the Light, Saved By His Amazing Grace

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

I Needed to Put Some Things Behind Me

Deep down inside I'm a recovering perfectionist....Wanting everything just so......Everything to go my way. As a matter a fact my most favorite perfectionist thing to do is PLAN. I enjoy it. Love looking at what is suppose to come next.

But in all reality This sin soaked Mama fails daily. And as much as she tries to plan and get things just so, the more she realizes Perfection is not ever attainable with out the Perfecter. And  I will never be perfect,  but I truly know the One who is.

A clean house was easy to obtain with children number 1 & 2.......Even when 3 & 4 came I still held it together......For the most part.

But then God allowed us to have 5 & 6......And I'm beginning to understand one of the many reasons why.

Because He knew this Mama needed to tuck some things behind her and one of them was her need to be Perfect. Oh I still get extremely frustrated but, I'm too tired at the end of the day to worry about my floor.

I have taken on the label Free Spirit and some days I truly embrace it. Other days I see it as complete and utter failure.

Although I do, most times, take great comfort in just letting it ride I know that there is  a need to get things done, to plan and prepare.

I need to make this clear I'm not a perfectionist in the way you might be. I'm not all about numbers and schedules......My perfection problem was in having a clean and perfect home with perfectly dressed children.....If I could get some pics of my first two children and some pics of our first home and then some pics now, you would see the contrast in both sets of pictures.

Am I okay with the contrast? Yes and no. Like I said I'm recovering........

I'm still learning what comes first. And although My man would like a more consistent job at getting the laundry done, he knows I'm trying.......

I'm learning that life is wrapped in the small gestures......the kisses, the hugs, a warm, home cooked meal, Pouring his glass of tea, Actually listening to the child who is screaming to be heard.....Reading stories and giving heart felt gifts, sharing a smile, a kind word.......Those are the things you and I will want to be remembered for.

If someone were to speak at my funeral the last thing I would want to be remembered for is my perfection problem or that my floor was always clean. Instead I would love to have them say she was always kind, listened when I needed to be heard, hugged often and loved much. Her door was always open even when there were days she thought she couldn't do it, she soon warmed up and fed those around her table. Because Christ loved her first with all of her quirky imperfections. All of her broken pieces, He loved her for who she was and changed her into who she was meant to be.

And that my friends is the reason why I put some of those unimportant feelings of inadequacy away....Is there room to improve?  Absolutely! I'm still trying to get some order to my chaos and some days are really good! Other days need a whole lot of GRACE!

A wise friend once told me in all my rushing around "I didn't come to see your house, I came to see my friend."

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