Her Stained Glass Window

I sat in a room tonight, chairs tight together. And as I looked around I saw faces, nothing out of the ordinary. A young woman gets up to speak. She came to give her testimony. And as she spoke there was nervous laughter. And I couldn't understand. Such a serious matter as this and all this nervous laughter........

She went on to share about her life....As a child her parents loved drugs more than their daughter. They used her to get the next quick fix. And as she is talking there are no tears......just light hearted  laughter and an occasional joke or two. How can this be? My heart was braking for her. For the Mama she never had. For the daughter the Mama never took the time to love. She went on to say how she was moved to a foster home.  How she would use a box cutter on herself to make the pain go away.  How they diagnosed her with one disorder after the other, But nobody ever came up with the diagnoses of a broken heart.

And as she was standing there in front of us all, I had come to the conclusion that the nervous laughter wasn't nerves at all....... that her laughter was her way of healing. Her way of dealing with the shattered pieces of her life. And it's funny to me how I saw the beauty in the short moment she was standing there. How I noticed her sweet sense of humor and her quick wit. And I couldn't help but feel anger towards her Mama....Look at all the years wasted. She never took the time to notice the BEAUTY in her daughter..... Some how this Mama of five felt connected. I liked her immediately.

She finished and sat down........

And the faces, the ordinary faces. Began to speak. One by one, heart brake after heart brake......Trauma after trauma. Tears would slide down the cheeks of women who sat silent. They too, had a story to tell. Forgiveness is what we studied......Forgiveness is what we all need to learn. Forgiveness is not forgetting, but the letting go of.....

Letting go of the hurt, the pain, the loneliness the betrayal. It's the letting go of what's keeping you captive. For how can one live all bound up in chains? Forgiveness is not saying that what was done is right.....It's giving yourself permission to be free of all that's keeping you in bondage. There is a higher court with a Supreme Judge who takes care of what we are not able.......for what we can't. Because He is fair and just. He is God!

He first forgave us so that we may also forgive. FORGIVENESS is HEALING.

This young woman who bravely gave her testimony is starting to see how her ashes can be traded in for BEAUTY. And though her life as a child may have been shattered, there is a stained glass window being made with the broken pieces. and from what I can see it's going to be BEAUTIFUL!