What are we Building?

He likes to build with wood, but if you ask him, he will tell you "I don't want to be a carpenter, I just like to build things." And maybe I could of handled it differently.....He spent all afternoon in the shop building with his two little hands, the hands that use to be chubby and thick and rest so sweetly in the palm of my hand.

He needed a night stand to put his bible and his trucks on. That's what he told me. "Mama I need help bringing it back home." We get to the shop and there it sits all big as life, painted white, sharp nails poking straight through. Heavy to lift and as we try the corner fell apart. You see he uses what people throw away. Old scraps rotting in the sun and melting in the rain. I tell him, son this just won't do, we can't take this home! It's not safe with nails poking out. Your little sister could get hurt, you could get hurt!

"Mama, Yes we can!" And he frantically reaches for the hammer to pound the protruding nails back out. My voice gets louder......because he doesn't want to hear me. WE ARE NOT BRINGING IT HOME! I tell him to leave it there and he can work on it tomorrow. He climbs on the mule, Eyes all welled with tears. And half way home he blurts out... "I worked from 12:30 to 5:00 on that night stand!" Lips all quivering. So hurt that I rejected his creation....So hurt that he felt like I was rejecting him. I knew that's how he felt, I could feel it in my bones.

And I keep grasping for words.....The damage had already been done. The hurt and pain already pierced his heart.

He sits, face all red trying to plea his case. And me, I'm pleading mine. I scoop him up in my arms and tell him that I know he worked so very hard on it.....And that he did a good job with what little materials he had. "But you never go buy me the good stuff....so I can make it right."

And maybe it's not just the materials he needs.....Maybe it's time spent with his Mama. If I put down the every day , never gets done things and build with him. We would be building so much more than things out of wood..........

Now, by his bed is something that I had in my room. I never use it. Just sits there..... My little man has a place to put his things......

And I can't help but think I could of handled it differently..........