It Started With Him

You always wonder how you would handle the news......No matter how much you think you are prepared for this thing called life, it comes whipping in like a storm and smacks you in the face. knocks you down, makes you lose your breath. Moments like these certainly put life into perspective, makes things chrystal clear. Shows you what needs to be worked on....What needs to be let go...Shows you how to be thankful for what you were given.

This family it comes together often. Every holiday, every birthday. It started with him......He led well. Was honest about life. Thought he was always right and oddly enough more times than not he was. And when we thought he wasn't, it provoked deep thought, led us to find the answers for ourselves....But it always started with him.

After the shock comes the memories.....they flood your mind, make you smile, make you laugh, make you fall to your knees and hurt that deep hurt that comes from loving so hard..... comes from years of living. Doing what is good ...Learning how to come together after we fall apart. Realizing that blood truly is thicker than water. Knowing we won't always get it right, but always forgiving when we get it wrong.

The family has been going through piles and piles of pictures. So many memories....Soo many stories...WE all sat around the table yesterday and what I loved the most is when we were sharing our memories, it was the laughter that filled our home and in the back ground, I could hear that man's laughter.....Little man walks out to the porch to sit by himself...I meet him right where it hurts. He tells me "Mama I can still hear his voice. I can still hear his laughter." And I could honestly tell him from my heart that that is the one thing you will never ever forget! It will always ring in your ears. The crackling sound of his voice. And many times you will find he will be your voice in all of the lessons he taught you. Just be willing to listen......

If legacies are what make the man, then the legacy he left behind is one of Strong Faith in the Lord. You knew that about him if you knew him at all. What I will miss the most is his prayer before we all sat down together to eat or celebrate......The Patriarch always took his place....It was him to lead his family in prayer. He was first in line for the food. It started with him.

The legacy of family, this is where his passion came roaring in. He wanted to be involved in every ones life, Every little detail. It was his passion to help you, because he knew best. He didn't want to see any of us fail. Sometimes that was hard for us to swallow.....Hard for us not to rebel.....I rebelled.....It's those moments that make you wish you would of handled things better than you did....My man taught me how to repect the man he called his father....RESPECT means a lot in life. No regrets. No do overs.

And how do we get to that place where the daily habits of his life won't hurt us so much? How do we go through another family gathering without our Patriarch? How do we.........live with out this man that has been such a dominate figure in every one's life?  When will the tears stop flowing? When will the pain not be so piercing?

I've been in this spot a couple times before......I can still hear the crackling laughter of my own grandpa ringing in my ears. I remember the pain of losing him and how piercing it was. What I know is, time can dull the pain, but time can also make you miss them more. It's only by the Grace of God that we as a Family will be able move on. Our focus now turns to our beloved Matriarch.....Oh how she is loved. And oh how much she needs us all right now.....For a long time to come. 57 years together, morphing into one. He was her world.........It started with him asking her out.....It started with him.......