My White Knuckle Grip

I start my day to a little baby girl calling me down the hall way......And there are some mornings I have to stretch and breathe deep before I half sleep walk to her room because I'm not ready to start the day, but she is.....

I try and keep my mind on the tasks ahead. Empty me of me so I can be of use to Him. I live this life knowing that I have to constantly remember it's not all about me....it's all about them, you and others. All about supporting my man. Little girls who need more kisses. And not so little boys who still need their Mama. It's all about lives twisted and mangled. It's all about broken homes and crushed hearts. All about 3rd world countries and their people meeting and hearing about the Christ child for the very first time.

And the daily headlines can make any one go into a downward tailspin. Make them give up hope and lose their joy for a better tomorrow. But hope/joy is not in tomorrow. They are found with in your heart. Hope is not wishing, Hope is a guaranteed promise you can overcome your tomorrows. Joy is the covenant He made with you......

My day consists of step stools and Fairy Tales. Mismatch socks and cereal puffs. With out a doubt I am called to be his wife, called to be their Mama......And sometimes I take a tight grip hold. You know the kind where you white knuckle it until your fingers go numb......Fear will make you grip tighter than you were ever meant to. Fear clogs the mind, fills it with lies and drowns your hope/Joy.......

I go to lunch with a Dear Friend. My Beloved mentor......I've told her that before, how I love watching Jesus bubble over into everything she does. She shares with me her life and I share with her, mine......

She tells me about this dream....A dream that has consumed her life and over takes her soul. A dream that she is watching in real time. A dream that is becoming reality. She shows me Jesus in every word....Like a novel that you can't put down I am hanging on every miracle, every God thing. I swear my jaw dropped over a 1/2 a dozen times.

Only God shows up in those sorts of ways......No other way to explain it. Tell me prayer can't make a difference......Tell me those things are just coincidences.....Only a fool would believe that something comes from nothing.

And I walk away with this....that no matter what the headlines read. No matter what the world is doing and what this life holds here this side of heaven "Kimmy God is still sitting on His throne."

And that fear I was feeling earlier this morning for the future of the ones I cherish, dissipated. We are here for each other. We are here because He has given us a purpose. I loosen my white knuckle grip hold. I remember it's not all about me, but that it's all about mission minded dreams and little old women. It's all about the hungry and the raw nakedness of poverty. It's all about the lost seeking refuge in this strange and scary world. It's all about serving a mighty God who still sits on His throne. It's all about being apart of His plan and standing back in awe and watching it all fall into place.

It's all about letting go and serving. It's loving on those who don't have hope/joy so that they may live Hope and know Joy even when the headlines make life look bleak here.......

It's all about being JESUS to a lost and dying world.

It's all about knowing WE. ARE. NOT. HOME. YET..........