Why I love You This Way....

I've seen things and held on to places that had no right to take up space in my heart. I've turned a cold shoulder, disrespected those that loved me and walked with only one person in mind..........

I've made choices with out thinking of the consequences and held grudges so tight it could of strangled all that was good in my life.

I've walked roads that twist and turn with out a care in the world, thought for sure I was invincible and death could never touch me.........

I've had days where I was walking high and saw the world as my play ground. I had no fear of the path I had chosen.......

I have the scars of this sin soaked life and I could tell you stories that would make you wonder how I survived......

But on a cold winter night I remember falling to my knees asking, no I was begging Him to wipe the slate clean.....To make it all go away.

And you know He healed up my wounds. He loved my pain away but, He never took away the scars. They are still here, they have left their mark......

They are there as a reminder from where I once have been and how I never want to go back.

He left the scars, so that I can remember that He never left me back there. So I can see how far He brought me.

And to all my Children, I want you to know your Mama, she is so not perfect. She has messed her life up in so many ways. I want you to know that He took my ashes and he turned them in to BEAUTY. I want you to know that the decisions I make today are because of yesterday's hurts and struggles.  It's because I never want to see my past become your future!

I love you this way because I use to be with out Christ and I remember what that was like.....It's a cold, dark and scary place.  I see that now, Especially since I've been walking in the warmth of His light.

So if you think I make decisions about your life just to torture you or make you squirm you couldn't be farther from the truth........

I love you this way because I've been in a place I never want to see you go. I walked 22 years with out Him and I have to tell you that walking with Him is more of a gift than any one could ever give you this side of heaven!

I love you this way because when I look into the faces of the God kissed I can't help but melt and feel this unconditional, Christ like love......I would go to the moon and back for each and every one of you. If you want to know how far that is....Well it's 250,000 miles from the earth to the moon. And you all know I hate to fly...But I would do it over and over again just to spare you the pain and hurt of this world.

That's why I love you this way........

Love,
Mama