No Regrets

As the clock is ticking and the world is spinning I rejoice in the mess. The crumbs leaving a trail, the toys scattered about and the laughter echoing through out our home.......

No sooner is this day done that it melts into tomorrow....I get a phone call, this soft, gentle voice on the other line and immediately before she even takes her next breath... I speak, "Hi Grandma! How are you?" She tells me she's fine. Although her vessel is frail and she has been through some ruff times with her health, She sounds really good to me....voice all strong and healthy. She just turned 89 this February. She shares her birthday with Sunshine girl.......

We chat a while, talk about the small things...the weather and how her winter was a gentle one. She tells me she's just sitting in her living room relaxing. "Just got done eating supper." I tell her mine is still on the stove..."Oh don't let it burn!" I chuckle and tell her she's worth a burnt dinner to me. She laughs like I haven't heard her laugh in years.

We come to the end of our call and she gets real quiet and then says "Kimmy I hope it works out for us that we get to see each other again before this summer's out." Her voice all choked, as if she fears something I'm not willing to think of ......Not right now.

This woman I call my Grandmother has brought seven children into this world. To be honest, things just didn't turn out the way she would of liked and I often wonder if she ever thinks of going back and doing some of it over......

But then again regrets are what keep us from moving forward. And she is one that has often told me how the years morph into minutes and she honestly can't tell me where they all went.

I look at her life and all the years she had been a part of mine and I come to this.......

No matter how frustrated or how messy this life, I will cling to the JOY inside my heart. I will give these days everything I have. Make the best of every moment and every situation whether it be good or bad....Because He has told us that all that's messy and torn apart will be made GOOD for His GLORY! I wanna live like there is no tomorrow and love on family and friends and yes I even want to learn how to love my enemies. I wanna make a difference on this small patch of ground beneath my feet. I'm here for His purpose, not mine........

And one day if I ever make it to 89, I want to look back on my life and say I loved with a full heart, gave of my time, Hugged souls that needed comfort, fed those that were hungry, Made all feel welcome when they step foot in our door. Had compassion for souls lost and torn apart. Prayed continuously. Listened with an open heart and judged not, those that make life hard. I was passionate about my LORD and wanted others to know this very same love that I know and feel.

(The Lord knows I'm still a work in progress)

And when my soul rises up and  kisses heavens clouds, I want people to say she loved because He first loved her. She gave GRACE Passionately because He gave her GRACE continuously. And when people look back on my life they will smile and know that I lived for JESUS,

because He died for me...........And you.

And Grandma I love you, I want you to know that no matter what happens whether we see each other this side of heaven or hold each other inside the crystal city, the moments and lessons I've learned from watching you and all that was around me are what I'll take with me on this journey and I must tell you.......I've learned a lot.

And just so you know, there are so many memories tied up in pretty ribbons to last me a life time! Thank you for Blessing my life!