Quiet Ramblings And This Crazy, Busy Life

I have to apologize...I try and plan. I try real hard to be organized, it's my never ending goal in this life. I've been absent from this place and I have plenty of thoughts filling my mind on what I want to share. But lately haven't had the time to share it.

You see it's this crazy, busy life and I wouldn't change any of it! I really mean that! Oh I may breathe deep and get frustrated and yes I still raise my voice when I shouldn't.........But in reality, painted in this family portrait is the very God who quiets my soul, and changes the direction I may have headed in the midst of a storm.

I rely on Him more than I ever have....So much more than when I just started out being the Mama of two little blessings. And I have to say that even though our family has grown (and is still growing) *Smile*, my days are easier than when I just had the two. Crazy I know, but what really makes the difference is that I don't rely on myself so much any more. I tap into the strength of my almighty God and through Him I can do all things!!

He's my rock. I find myself talking to Him all through out my day. He keeps things in perspective for me. And you know the more I share my heart with Him, All the more I hear Him sharing His!

But really what I wanted to let you know before I started rambling, is that I will be away from this place for a short while.....You see we are going to a family wedding. I will be living this life and you know the more you live life, the more moments there are to cherish, all the more you have to share. The more chances you get to serve and see the eyes of souls light up!

And although I dread the 13 hour drive with a toddler I'm praying the Lord will soften my heart and show me it's an adventure and not a misery......Oh How truly blessed I am to be able to travel, to be with my family and share the ride with our very busy toddler!

So until we meet again in this quiet place, May God Bless you and yours and may He keep you safe..........

A Taste Of Both Worlds

I can tell you the surest and quickest way to truly see the world is to go out in it and not be of it. I can tell you the quickest way to make enemies.......Stand for truth. I can tell you that years ago I was of this world and had no courage to stand up for truth. And I was told about Truth many times and still rejected it! You see what people don't understand is that I had a taste of both worlds, not just one.

I know what secular means I was one......I know what saved means I am one.......And I love the latter of the two. You see I'm Time Warped. I'm a Bible believing Christian and I actually read it! I try very hard to live by it! I've seen miracles come from it! I am one of those miracles..........

I can tell you that after almost 20 years with My Savior I can stand my ground and speak for truth. I can also tell you I know when to keep quiet (most times). I've learned that having the last word is not always beneficial. And sometimes there is no softening a heart that's meant to stay hard.

And yes I hurt but, not for me.....I hurt for those who refuse to see TRUTH.....Who refuse to open their minds to the other side of secular. I didn't always have my nose in the Bible.......I've done my research........I've seen both worlds.............The price was high. The cost was deep. He paid my debt.

And I'm not meant for this World...............

The Life Giving Spirit

In this life you can't help but wonder how long we will be bound to this mortal vessel. And if you have any conscience at all you know how fragile this life and we are not promised tomorrow.......

You can't help but think of death when you see the prayer requests rise up......

"My heart is heavy as I think of a dear friend who may be having surgery tomorrow.......you may remember a year ago I asked for prayers for a friend who was diagnosed with stage IV brain cancer."

"Finished my angiogram and I need to see another specialist in Jacksonville for a different treatment option. My situation is more complicated than a simple aneurysm."

"She has fluid in her lungs and her blood pressure keeps going down.  (72/50)"

He tells us not too cling to this life.....not to hold too tight. And I must say after years of trying to figure this out I've come to the conclusion that it's not this life I cling to, it's the life that goes before me......The one that rises up and gets there before I do. It's being left here on this side of heaven with out them that hurts so much........

Now please here my heart I am not writing them off! Because I believe in an almighty GOD who performs MIRACLES day after day. And I'm one who tends to look more for the miracles than reality......It's that HOPE He instills in me. And I believe in the mighty power of prayer and I've seen this FAITH move mountains impossible. I've seen cancer wiped away with no explanation. Hearts that have been pumping with only 1/4 of it working and not just for 1 or 2 years but for 17!

I've heard stories from dear friends where the doctors shake their heads and can't explain the miracle that has taken place before their eyes!

But I have to tell you I've lived long enough to know that you have to prepare your heart because we are not meant for this world....we don't belong here. And that my sweet friends is what gives me great hope that's where my JOY is found, knowing That JESUS was no longer bound by His mortal vessel.....

He is alive in the spirit to give LIFE to all who believe.

And one day HEAVEN. I am commanded by the life giving spirit in me to spread the good news to all who will hear! And I am motivated by the ticking of the never ending time clock. Knowing all too well we never know when it will stop ticking here this side of heaven for you....for me.

And I want to see YOU there strolling the streets paved with GOLD praising HIM all day long!!

For JESUS said "I am the way, the Truth, the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

You may believe I couldn't be farther from the truth.............But what if your wrong?

As real as there is a Heaven there surely is a hell. And in my heart of hearts I believe with out a doubt that the life giving Spirit dwells with in me......There is no other explanation for the way I feel and the change you may have seen in me. No one else could of turned this sin soaked Mama around but my almighty God who sent His son for me.......for you!

I'll Just Dance In The Rain!

I've been in thankful praise, even through what they label as morning sickness, although mine comes mostly late afternoon and on into the night. For seven weeks I've kept quiet, waiting for just the right time. So excited inside and yet so cautious not wanting to get too emotionally attached to the idea. Because I know what it's like to get all wound up in the beauty of it all and then to have your bundle of hope swept away.  I'm very well aware that the Lord who gives is the very Lord who takes away. Never knowing why, just knowing He knows best and He loves me most!

I'm still ever so careful but it's hard not to smile at the very thought of this little being growing inside of me. And as hard as I may try to keep my emotions from running wild, I must say I'm already in LOVE. And this is what I've been patiently waiting for.....This is what I've been praying for. Wondering if this is what God wants for me....for us. And then one night on the wings of a dove this little baby came to be. And as He is knitting her/him together inside of me I can't help but think how blessed, how truly blessed I feel. Baby made out of love, being woven together by God's Grace. 

Now I know some are bound to say having 6 is too many........And that's okay, it may be too many......for them. But I have to tell you I'm loving my life, how full my life is. I said after my third child that I was done......But GOD changed my heart and we asked for our fourth. I thought I would be good at four, then God changed my heart once again and we asked Him for five........

Now in the later years of our lives I come to my man telling him I'm still not sure if I want this to be it.....So I prayed and my man and I talked.....a lot! and then we asked God for number six. 

And I stand here in awe. Looking back at our lives and how we both met. Everything that was done was orchestrated by our Heavenly Father. And the more and more we give it all to Him, the more and more our faith grows.....The more and more our love grows. 

I'm truly thankful, truly in love with my God and all that He has blessed me with. 

Remember this is my walk and I will not judge you for just having 1 or 2 if you don't judge us for wanting 6......

So if you were thinking about raining on my parade......That's okay I'll just dance in the rain! 

P.S.  For quite a while now I've been wanting to coin the phrase, "My man and I and our half dozen kids!" Don't you just love the sound of that? "Smile"

Imagine The World

As the years roll in and move on I find that time is not any one's friend but, that doesn't mean we can't make the best of what we are given.....As I sit here tapping feelings out I see moments all too quickly missed or moments I chose to miss. And it's because of my own selfishness that I missed the beauty of what could of been.

Imagine the world and what she'd be like if we all paused and took a moment to look around, to see what or who is beyond ourselves. To reach out and make a small gesture of love, an act of kindness. A smile to one who seems to have forgotten how to smile. Odd change given to someone who just didn't seem to have enough at the check out line. Letting someone go a head of you even though you haven't the time to spare. A phone call, a letter of appreciation to someone who does so much but, never seems to get recognized.

Imagine the world if we gave of our time and let go of our pride. If we actually, purposely made an attempt to better some one's day. And not only just for a day, but that we make a habit of it every day.

Imagine just taking one day and spending it with a lonely soul. Oh what it would do for them....for you!

Imagine the world if we never took for granted the gift of some one's friendship. The one that always gives and lets you borrow but, you or I never return the favor.....never return what was borrowed. And don't we all too often take for granted and turn our backs on those that give the most? And oh how easy it is to be consumed with your life and we forget to say thank you to those who make it better.

Imagine the world with out harsh words spoken and ugly banter being spewed.....Even when we think we have the best of intentions or that talking about some one else's life will make things better......For who?

I'm no where near innocent in any of this........

Imagine the world if we stepped out side our box, stepped out of our skin of selfishness and stepped into some one else's world today........

Imagine............And now I will take action! Won't you join me?

No Regrets

As the clock is ticking and the world is spinning I rejoice in the mess. The crumbs leaving a trail, the toys scattered about and the laughter echoing through out our home.......

No sooner is this day done that it melts into tomorrow....I get a phone call, this soft, gentle voice on the other line and immediately before she even takes her next breath... I speak, "Hi Grandma! How are you?" She tells me she's fine. Although her vessel is frail and she has been through some ruff times with her health, She sounds really good to me....voice all strong and healthy. She just turned 89 this February. She shares her birthday with Sunshine girl.......

We chat a while, talk about the small things...the weather and how her winter was a gentle one. She tells me she's just sitting in her living room relaxing. "Just got done eating supper." I tell her mine is still on the stove..."Oh don't let it burn!" I chuckle and tell her she's worth a burnt dinner to me. She laughs like I haven't heard her laugh in years.

We come to the end of our call and she gets real quiet and then says "Kimmy I hope it works out for us that we get to see each other again before this summer's out." Her voice all choked, as if she fears something I'm not willing to think of ......Not right now.

This woman I call my Grandmother has brought seven children into this world. To be honest, things just didn't turn out the way she would of liked and I often wonder if she ever thinks of going back and doing some of it over......

But then again regrets are what keep us from moving forward. And she is one that has often told me how the years morph into minutes and she honestly can't tell me where they all went.

I look at her life and all the years she had been a part of mine and I come to this.......

No matter how frustrated or how messy this life, I will cling to the JOY inside my heart. I will give these days everything I have. Make the best of every moment and every situation whether it be good or bad....Because He has told us that all that's messy and torn apart will be made GOOD for His GLORY! I wanna live like there is no tomorrow and love on family and friends and yes I even want to learn how to love my enemies. I wanna make a difference on this small patch of ground beneath my feet. I'm here for His purpose, not mine........

And one day if I ever make it to 89, I want to look back on my life and say I loved with a full heart, gave of my time, Hugged souls that needed comfort, fed those that were hungry, Made all feel welcome when they step foot in our door. Had compassion for souls lost and torn apart. Prayed continuously. Listened with an open heart and judged not, those that make life hard. I was passionate about my LORD and wanted others to know this very same love that I know and feel.

(The Lord knows I'm still a work in progress)

And when my soul rises up and  kisses heavens clouds, I want people to say she loved because He first loved her. She gave GRACE Passionately because He gave her GRACE continuously. And when people look back on my life they will smile and know that I lived for JESUS,

because He died for me...........And you.

And Grandma I love you, I want you to know that no matter what happens whether we see each other this side of heaven or hold each other inside the crystal city, the moments and lessons I've learned from watching you and all that was around me are what I'll take with me on this journey and I must tell you.......I've learned a lot.

And just so you know, there are so many memories tied up in pretty ribbons to last me a life time! Thank you for Blessing my life!