He's my little man now......And I don't know where to begin. My oldest is gone to NY for the summer..... I'm missing him, not just for the summer but for when he really leaves home. And lately my mind has been swimming with memories of a little blond, curly headed boy. The first of five....The first to steal this Mama's heart....And the tears they won't stop cause I'm the sentimental one......
Little man says goodbye to Gentle Giant. He's riding his 4 wheeler with tears in his eyes. He's trying hard to hide beneath the helmet with no mask. "I'm just happy he won't be here to yell at me!" then he drives off to hide even bigger tears that had welled up inside.
Daddy tells little man that he has to take over....step in and take Hunter's spot while he's away. "I'm gonna need you now that your brother is not here." Little man looks up and smiles that shy smile.
And this morning Big Brother calls to let his Mama know that he made it there ok. "can I talk, can I talk?" Little brother runs off with my phone. Comes back with his work boots. I ask where he's going in such a hurry. He tells me with eyes all red that he has work to do. "I have to feed Hunter's ducks"....his mouth quivering, voice trembling trying to hold the tears in. I wrap him in my arms and remember that this is how it felt with Gentle giant only now Gentle Giant wraps me in his arms..... It's ok to feel blue...I know you miss him, I do too! He holds on even tighter because Mama struck a cord.
"Daddy might need me at the shop, there may be a truck coming in today and I'm gonna help him grease it."
He is growing up too. And soon there will be two Gentle Giants instead of one. And there are times when I think I can handle this thing called the empty nest......but then there are those times when I just know I can't. This is one of those times. Oh, I know I'll be alright I just need time.....time to let it all sink in.
In the mean time Little man has stepped up to the plate. And me? I'm holding him a little bit more, holding on to moments a little tighter, counting the days until my "first little man" returns...........
And Mama never told me I could LOVE like this............
I said goodbye to my oldest yesterday, too. Only she was heading back to her home in South Carolina and I may not see her again until Christmas.
ReplyDeleteAs I stood, tears streaming down my face, I thanked God for a love that keeps her wanting to come home. A love that causes us to miss each other. A love that lets us have wonderful family times together when God DOES allow us to be up close and in person once again. A love that makes my younger children look forward to few things more than having my older children come home--if only for a little while.
You're building a legacy, Kimmy. Keep it up! And will you give that little man a big hug from Mrs. Marti, please?
I sure will....Blessings from one Mama to another! ;)
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