Gentle Reminders

When I was a child I use to caress her hands and think to my self "she has such pretty hands, I would know them anywhere." Always soft, always gentle......The other day I was working with my hands, flipping pancakes, frying eggs and turning sausage. I had a skip in my step and a smile in my heart.....

And even when the bickering started I refused to let it build, to well up inside. This Mama, she tends to let things pile up on her heart until her heart can't take any more. Then the littlest one she has found her  voice, she surely can use the lungs that God gave her. So among all the bickering and the loud shrills and the"Mama I don't want to!" attitudes.......

My heart implodes. I throw up my hands, throw in the towel, throw my voice and give into the enemy. I've been trying so hard to diffuse moments like this before they even get started.......And it seems the harder I try, the harder it gets.

And Lately I've been wondering where my Mama got her gentleness....Because that's all I remember........ Except this one moment, this one moment in time when she had to use her pretty gentle hand against a loud back lashing teenager who had said words that had cut through her heart and stole her peace. Words I'm so ashamed of. Words that cut deep and leave wounds raw, bare and tender.....I don't blame her. I'm afraid I deserved the crack of her hand against my sinful cheek......

And I wonder if she remembers that day? The day when I stole her gentleness away, but only for a moment. I remember distinctly how she regained her self control with tears of painful hurt.  I had caused her to do something she had never wanted to do. She sent me to my room until my Daddy got home......Oh the long wait, the torture of waiting and knowing how I had disappointed them.

And then in that moment while I was thinking of the disappointment I had caused I think right now how I have disappointed my Father in Heaven for giving up so easily, for letting the anger pile up and not giving it to Him. For thinking I can do this when in all reality I can't.........Not with out Him. And to truly be in His will for my life I must be BROKEN.......I read a blog from Proverbs 31 Ministries this morning that moved my buried Gentle heart into action.....And while they are things I already know it was a gentle reminder that in order to be the Mama He wants me to be, I must lay it all down before Him. It's a constant battle to get rid of self.....To empty my vessel.

Yesterday before I even put my feet on the floor, I made sure Him and I had a little chat...And we continued to have little chats through out our day.....And I can just see Him smiling because that's all He wanted is for me to look towards heaven......Set my eyes on Him.

To be Gentle you have to look to the ONE who gives Gentle Reminders....

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2