Learning The Hard Way

I'm a slow learner, always have been. Things always seem to take a while to sink in. Growing up my Daddy would always say "Kimmy your always learning the hard way......Why is that?" Sometimes I still choose the hard way. I have the battle scars to prove it. Love all done wrong. Me all wrapped up in me and no one else.

Years have flown by before I ever really learned about the order of Family. It's called JOY....... Jesus First, Others Second and You last. And it's funny to me how friends can come and go, but a good strong family never leaves. And no matter our differences, all the little quirky annoyances that we seem to talk to eachother about the other. In the scheme of things it really doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how one raises their own. How one justifies a decision made. It doesn't matter if your right or wrong.

It matters that you stay together, differences and all. It matters that you come around spend time with those you love. It matters that you communicate through the awkwardness and the "I wouldn't of done it that way" moments. It matters that you pull together and accept eachother no matter how wierd, how difficult, or how mad you get. It matters that you hold on and pull through. Memories are in the making if you can move on and push past the hurts and misunderstandings. If you can accept them the way they are because they have always been that way and you learn to love them any way. You learn to find the good , find what you love about them and hold onto that. I think the most important lesson I have learned recently is to laugh the things off that offend, the things that drive you crazy and just let them slide..........Life is too short to hold onto the negative. My Daddy always taught me to look for the good in everyone. Focus on the Good in your Family and make the bond that much stronger......The walls will fall down and you will see the heartfilled, teary eyed moments. The simple love moments that you wouldn't see if you were always focused on the things that blind you from seeing LOVE.

I wasn't there but I heard how just the other night A big strong man in my life spoke of his Sons, his family and his life. And as he spoke tears pushed hard and he tried to choke them back, but the love was too strong. And as the flood gates were being forced open, another strong man in my life (the one that keeps me grounded when my life takes flight) his head bent down as he was swallowing hard, the tears that persisted and made lines down his cheeks. Those are the moments we miss when we refuse to see, when we refuse to come around because of differences. And me I'm just as much to blame as anyone.

And I'm still learning everyday, how to be God's child, how to be my man's wife, how to be a Godly Mother, daughter, sister and friend. I'm still learning the hard way, swallowing tears for things said and feelings felt. The hard way etches deep and ingrains itself in my mind. I guess all those years of learning the hard way is the better way for me. I remember .....................JOY