The Author Of My Life

In the stillness of it all my mind wanders to a time that is coming and I can't seem to stop the clock. I can't stop this life from unraveling. I tell him how I wouldn't mind having another precious gift.......And he smiles and shakes his head. Asking why this yearning?........

I stumble over my words and try and grab the ones that will make sense to him. Because he thinks differently than I do. I tell him I guess it's because I'm enjoying her so much and she's not little any more, they are not little any more. They are growing up so fast and I can't seem to stop this spinning, I can't slow this crazy fast paced life down.

I don't want it to go on...........I want it to stand still. And when I hear the very words that fall out onto the floor weighing heavy and falling fast.......He said " Kimmy that's life, that's what it's suppose to do. We have kids they grow up, they have kids and then you will have grand kids to love and take care of and like it or not we are getting older"........

His words sting hard and I swallow tears that he can't see. I know he is right. But my mind lately, just can't seem to wrap itself around them growing up. I know it happens, I guess I just didn't expect it to happen quite this fast. It's like reading a great book and I have to end a chapter in my life that I'm not so willing to do right now.

It's easy to speak words of encouragement to someone else......but to actually take your own words and use them.....I feel as if I'm choking on them trying to get them back up and spit them out.

 I love my man, I love how he keeps me grounded when my life takes flight. And this will take some time, time for me to wrap myself around closing a chapter. And when I do, close the chapter I mean. I know this next chapter will be amazing. Because God is the author of my life and I trust him. I trust Him with my life.