It's Been Quiet Here

It's been quiet here in this space. The words, they haven't been around........They linger not. I find myself in the midst of this bustling life. Finding what has been missing and learning what comes first......My priorities have not been His, and I find myself flailing about. Watching things fall apart at the seams. Because all too often I have put myself first.

There are no pictures for this post I didn't take the time......instead tonight I played with a little girl on our living room floor. And lately I've been spending much needed time with the ones that call me Mama. I use to be of the mind set that I needed my "me time". And it seems I have been stuck  in that rut again.  I'm still  learning how not to stay there. There will be plenty of "me time".......Later. Right now it is their time......Our time. We only have right now. There is no time to be selfish in this life.

Isn't this what I signed up for? the sleepless nights, the runny noses, And "Mama please come here!" moments. Did I not realize that when I gave birth, I gave up myself........Isn't that what a Mama does? Does she not devote herself to raising and loving the blessings that were given her?

My blog has been at a pause lately, because my life is running at full speed and I'm trying to catch up and slow it down.

And among the diapers and the dirty kitchen, after the home cooked meals, the toys that trip me up in the middle of the night........I find my Joy, He is always there....And I smile and cling tight to what I know is just a fleeting moment. That haunting loud silence is just a whisper away......

I've been told by other mentoring women that what they miss the most is seeing the toys all scattered about, hearing the pitter patter of their tiny feet, they miss seeing and hearing.....LIFE.

How loud the silence can be.

How disturbing the stillness of the empty nest.

I love to tap my life out on these keys.....It seems so natural. But  for just a little while this place will be at a pause until my priorities are in order. I'm still reading the book Large Family Logistics. And I'm learning wonderful things, eating every nook and cranny.......I'm learning how to prioritize, learning how to run my sorta large family better.

I figure in about a week or two I'll be back tapping out life here again.............

Blessings to you and yours

Could It Be?

There was no room.......No room for the Prince to come. Could it be that God had chosen to be born in a cold dirty manger and laid in a trough where the animals feed?

Could it be that He has also chosen to be born in the dark, dirty rooms of our hearts?  When we have often  said "But Lord there is no more room." Could it be that we are to feed from that very same trough he laid in? Feed from the very same bread of life?

Could it be that this "Prince of Peace" the "King of Kings"  was wrapped in rags instead of fine linens? Could it be that He is the one to clothe us?


But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
Romans 13:14

Could it be that you have no room in your heart for this gentle babe? God wrapped in flesh. He chose to come for you, for me........And his name shall be called Emmanuel......God with us.

My Christmas Prayer

When I still lived at home, my Mama would always say to me, "Kimmy I can always tell where you have been in my kitchen!"

"You leave a trail behind you where ever you go!"  And this is my Christmas Prayer: May I leave a trail behind me that is fit for my loved ones to see.......

No matter how many pot holes may lie ahead they will always see my trail  coming back to that Babe in the manger, always remembering the cross. They will see my trail going to and from my Bible. A trail of kindness and love to others. A trail of Mercy and Forgiveness. A Trail of acceptance and not Judgment. A trail of Truth and Wisdom. My Christmas Prayer is to leave a TRAIL that shows Christ has always been there guiding  me every step of the way.

I guess some things never change I'm still leaving a trail in the kitchen.......

Where Are You CHRISTmas?

I remember a time, a time long, long ago......When all that was playing on an old upright record player was Nat king Cole and a very old version of the little drummer boy. I remember a time when Christmas seemed so magical. The lights under the snow seemed to draw you in like a fire below the mantle. I remember when time went slow, slower than usual.

I remember shopping with Daddy trying to find the perfect gift for Mama. I remember loved ones all gathered round....... young and old, sisters and brothers, Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents and cousins. I remember Grandma's tree, how every year she always had something special hidden in one of the branches.

And today I'm remembering a man that has been such a big part of Christmas in my childhood memories. He passed away December 12th 2000. He was Santa on Christmas Eve. He was full of life, full of laughter, full of love and I miss him terribly........I miss his laughter, his jokes, his bear hugs. His voice was like crackling fire, a sound you never forget. I miss what he brought to Christmas all those years ago. I miss My Grandpa.

And I know he is not Christmas himself, but he shared Christmas. He is a part of who I am. a part of all of us.

After he had passed away.........I found myself looking for Christmas again.........You know that feeling you get when your a child. I wanted it back.

I was given this tree not long after he had passed.........

It almost didn't make it. It got thrown on the floor during shipment and broke into many pieces. My Daddy brought it in to me and together we put the tiny slivers of ceramic together. It's monetary worth is absolutely nothing...........But to me it's value is precious, for it was his tree. The tree I remember as a child every Christmas Eve. And now every year it holds it's place here in my dining room.
Now, I know Christmas is not about decorations or magical feelings. But the feelings you get when you are surrounded by the ones you love are what brings Christmas to your heart. And if Christ is the reason you celebrate Christmas, If CHRISTmas is in your heart, than the joy and love has never left, even though loved ones may have left you........He will never leave ........CHRISTmas will never leave you.

189. Christmas lives in my heart
190. Grandpa's crackling voice
191. Ceramic Christmas tree held together by glue
192. Treasures tucked away in the branches

More Rooms To Fill

"Mama can I use your phone?" Who are you calling? "You will see."  My Butterfly girl, she is only 8, but years beyond that in the wisdom of her heart. Her Grammy answers the phone and they talk for a while before she states the real reason she has called.

"Grammy do you know what I want for Christmas more than anything else?"  A slight pause and then I hear......."Grammy could you put a bow on your head and come see me for Christmas?" My heart melts because in all truth her wish list is the same as mine.

And it's the miles that keep us apart......And the things that tie us down at home that makes it difficult to break away. But what really touches my heart...........is Butterfly girl's heart.

And I have discovered this Christmas, that it's not just all about giving from the heart, but more about the growing of the heart. I believe Butterfly girl's heart is growing.......

I believe my heart is growing right along with hers. If you think of your heart as a house and as time allows, you keep adding on rooms. And so with the growing comes more rooms to fill.......Rooms to fill with LOVE for others.

Unaware

As a little girl I remember a manger scene a lot like this one, dreamy and beautiful.

I would gaze at it for hours......

I was curiously watching and listening, unaware that even a simple manger scene would be the start of my journey.

Unaware that what I was drinking in was to stay with me on my travels through this life.......

Unaware of the impact that my surroundings of my childhood home would have on me today. And don't we have to start somewhere?

The start of our journey begins with what we were given as a child, but it's what we make of the things we were given that matters.......And even though my family and I didn't come to know his saving Grace til quite some time later. My Mama some how knew that it was important to have that little babe lying there in that dreamy manger scene. She knew he needed to be there, he needed to come.

As I look back on my travels I see all the places I've been and he was there.....He was always there waiting for me. In the whispers of every day life, In our home town church my Mama took us to, He was there in the Dreamy Manger scene. Today I am still mesmerised by His Faithful love.

The manger scene was painstakingly made by my sister. It took tons of hot wax and many hours of melting the hot wax to form it into what you see here and was given to me as a Christmas present last year.....

186. My Sisters Gift
187. Childhood surroundings
188. Mama knowing He needed to be there

O Come, O Come Emmanuel



Advent: The coming of the King.

One of my very favorite Christmas songs. I have sung this song a hundred times, but I have never read the words. I never really wrapped my heart around the words.  Until tonight, while I was tapping this out in the dark of the room with only the light from my screen for me to see. And it's quiet here. I can't help but sing as I read the words. I can't help but be captivated. Pour your eyes over the words and drink them in for the first time, like I did tonight.



O come, O come Emmanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel.



O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free

Thine own from Satan's tyranny

From depths of Hell Thy people save

And give them victory o'er the grave

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel.



O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer

Our spirits by Thine advent here

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night

And death's dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel.



O come, Thou Key of David, come,

And open wide our heavenly home;

Make safe the way that leads on high,

And close the path to misery.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel.



O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,

Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height,

In ancient times did'st give the Law,

In cloud, and majesty and awe.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel.

May It Be You

In the stillness, in the peace, in the quiet I pray to you. The one that came for me so very long ago. I ask that in this house, we remember.....remember why you came. In everything we do, in all that we celebrate. May it be you, "Prince of Peace" May it be that you are in our every thought, Our every reason to get together, to give, to love, to share "The Good News".

When we are selfish and forget to give of our time to those we love......
When we fill our calendar and complain of how busy we are........
When we are tempted to buy one more gift that our child surely doesn't need.......
When we are tempted to rush and fit in those last minute things..........
When we are tempted to fit in to this world and forget about you, the Precious Babe.........

MAY IT BE YOU that causes us to come back to The Manger.