How Far Would You Go To Save Your Child?

What length would you go to save your child? Would you give your own life for him?

Would you put yourself in harms way to keep her safe?

This Mama killdeer was willing to sacrafice her life for her babies. She is pretending to have a broken wing so you will take her instead.

 I always thought I would do the same. I don't bring this up very often, I'm ashamed. I always thought I would go to the ends of the earth for my babies. The depths of the ocean.

I was proven wrong on a warm summer day. The family and I were at the beach. Anyone who knows me, knows that I only go to the beach because others want to. My biggest fear is the ocean. And my fear was carrying my baby away. No one saw him, but me. All of the good swimmers in the family were not around. I went out as far as I could go, the water was coming up to my chin. All I had to do was swim to him, but I was scared stiff with fear. I found myself screaming his name. His little face was wrapped with waves from the ocean. I can still see his scared little eyes like it was yesterday.

Then someone else heard my cry and came to rescue him. What I thought I could and would do, I did nothing. Shame fills my heart to this day. But it reminds me of the faithfulness, the undying love our Father in heaven has for us. What we could not do and would not do, He did. He did the unthinkable. He gave His son to save the rest of His children, you and me, the World.

I try not to hold the blame in my heart, but it is really hard to let go of it. That feeling of guilt will probably always be there. As deeply as I love all my children it has shown me that Father God Truly loves them way more than I do.

He loves you and I the same way.   For He gave His one and only Son, that who ever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

That night we arrived back at the hotel room and every one was settled in bed, I just wept. Not only because I could of lost my baby that day, but because I was humbled. My big words were only words and when I was put to the test my actions had failed, I had failed. And He loves me any way.

 We can't do it all. There are things that each one of us will some day be put to the test for and we will fail. That's when you lean on your Father in heaven, He will pick you up and dust you off. And let you know how much He loves you! I have yet to meet anyone else that would send their only child to die for you.

17. My Father's Love for His Children
18. Even when I fail He still loves me.

My Door is Always Open

I love history, it was always my favorite subject in school. I believe you can learn a lot from the past.

This little girl from long ago grew up to be the Town Historian of Castile, New York. She also grew up to be my Great Grandmother. I have a lot of fond memories of her as I was growing up. She passed away at the ripe ol age of 96. Visits with her were always special, for she lived in the Historical house in Castile near Letchworth State Park. Oh the History that was in that old house.

On the living room wall hung a Grand Old Father Time clock. I can still hear the haunting chimes ring through my ears today. She would always greet us at the door and we would follow her slow shuffle into the dining room where she always had the table set for company.

One of the things that I guess you could say that she passed down to me was her willingness to have an open door. I often find myself saying My Door is Always Open. And I truly mean that. And just like her, I always try and have a little something for you to eat while your here.

I don't even know if she knew what she was passing on. Did she even think about how her actions would make a difference in my life? As simple as her hospitality may have been, it made a huge impact on me.

Keep on loving eachother as brothers and sisters. Remember to welcome strangers,because some who have done this have welcomed angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:1-2

13. Homemade bread
14. My great Grandmother
15. An open door
16. Friends at my table

It's Father God moving His furniture

The Sun is setting and the clouds are rolling in. Thunder is rumbling, Bolts of light are cracking. There is something about a thunderstorm that puts me in awe. I am amazed and relaxed. I never used to be that way.

Like my middle daughter, I used to be scared when they came rolling in. She is constantly looking out the window to make sure there are no big winds coming. The loud booms that sneak up on her, put fear in her eyes. I'm always telling her not to worry, that it's just Father God moving His furniture. That's what my Mama always told me.

It's funny how things get passed down from generation to generation. Like my daughter and I, My Mama and her Mama used to be scared of them too.  Only my Grandmother was so terrified that she would lock everyone in the closet til it was over. Now that was FEAR. My Mama did not pass that on, she stopped it, she stopped the fear. It's up to us what we pass down to our children. Instead she replaced the fear with humor and whimsy. My Mom needed humor during her childhood because Grandma was mentally ill. So she replaced the hurt and pain with whimsy and laughter. And some how she made it through. She went on to become an Amazing Mother. She refused to pass on what was given to her. Now, Mama and I welcome the storms with whimsy and laughter.

10. Thunderstorms
11. My Mama's Laughter
12. My Mama

New Life

What you can see when you take the time to notice. It's Saturday morning and with the sun brings a new born calf. Mama had him last night.

All around me there seems to be new life.

As the jasmine blooms.........

And our garden grows, it's all a sign, a symbolism of the new life you can have when you accept the one who gave His life.

And like a bird you can soar through the rest of your life, the rest of your new life knowing that your eternal home will be heavenly. For heaven is what we are truly reaching for.This is not our final destination. As new life springs forth, won't you think about your life? The new life that was meant for you and me. He paid it all. He did the work, He took the pain and turned it into Grace and Mercy. So we could begin again.

Yes.......... new life is all around me, reminding me of the One who gave His life, for you........ for me......for her.

7. New life
8. Flowers blooming
9. Sleeping baby

Glorious Gift Giver

Gifts given, thankfully accepted. It's been 0ver six years since I rocked my last baby. I had given everything away. I thought surely four would be enough, but God knew better, He knew I'd change my mind.

It's not only for the gifts that I am thankful , but also for the friends who gave them. You wouldn't of known it when I came home that night. Tired and grumpy, I undress and get ready for bed. My man asks "what is wrong?" and I grumble out a few moans...."Didn't you just receive many gifts?" Yes I said. Then his words that followed next hit hard and opened me wide. "After all these gifts, you are still grumpy?"

This man of mine that loves me through all my craziness, and keeps me grounded when life takes flight. As simple as they were, his words ran deep. Are we all not given at least one gift a day? I know of one gift that was given so long ago. And the ones who have received this gift are still grumpy, including me at times.

I need to worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Psalm 100:2 
For He has given many gifts and continues the gift giving every day.

There is a blog that I read every day and this woman started a grattitude community. Which means she gives thanks every day. She is trying to get to 1000 thankful gifts. I think it's time I do the same. Won't you join me?

1. His blood that washes me clean.
2. His mercy and grace.
3. the gift of friendship.
4. My man's wisdom.
5. Tiny hands that fit so delicatley into mine.
6. My Skye was given to me 8 years ago today.

I give thanks and praise with Joy in my heart, to my Glorious Gift Giver.

Two days until forgiveness

My tongue cracks hard, like the sound of a whip. Here I go treading this same road again. She didn't mean to, she just bent down to give her baby sister a kiss, when her duffle bag came swinging around and hit the smallest one in the head.

Like a Mama bear protects her cubs, the teeth start to show and the loud roar begins. But it came at the wrong time. The anger should of never been. It was just an accident. I knew that,  I lashed out before I had a chance to hold it back.

My heart hurts....and she is not here for me to hold and tell her how sorry I am. I have to wait two days. Two days in thought of how my words cut deep and drew small tears. Two days before I can tell her how much she means to me. Two days before I am able to ask for forgiveness.

The phone rang after she left. It was her asking how baby sister was. I told her she was fine, that it just scared her. Scared me. I love you I said....."I love you too." Still I wish I could hug her and tell her I love her. This Beautiful girl that one day will move mighty mountains with her faith. I could learn a thing or two from her wisdom, I'm learning now. Sometimes I think she is so much further beyond where I need to be.

She is my sunshine when my skies are grey. My little sunshine you'll never know dear, how much I love you!

 Forgive me.

Getting Lost in the Clouds

As the clouds roll in I get lost in thought, lost in the puffy whiteness of it all. Some days I wonder.......I wonder how in the world did I get here. I was called, called to be His servant. Called for His purpose, not mine. It was never about me. Even before I knew Him, He knew me.  In all my weakness. He saw how dirty my soul had become.

And yet He still chose me. Waiting for me to find Him. Ever so patient with me, knowing that when the time was just right I would come around.

With tears filling my eyes and feeling so ashamed I knelt down, took His name and wrote it on my heart. And as His mercy flowed over my soul and His grace picked me up. I became His child. Every horrid thing I had done, had been forgotten.

I must confess, that it wasn't till much later when I discovered that one little prayer of asking Him to come into my heart was not a free ticket, not a right of passage to do whatever I wanted. Saying I'm sorry and then doing it again, was not living for Him. I was still living for me.  True repentance is what He is after.  Forgivness is what I seek, everyday. Slowly I am becoming the child He wants me to be.

And yet His mercy still flows and His grace still comes. He is ever so patient with me. He directs my path and shows me the way.......He shows me the way, every day, because I still fall, I still fail.

Wisdom comes to those who are humbled to learn. When you believe you have arrived....It is then that you have just begun. For you truly will never know it all, but you surely can learn much on this fleeting moment we call life.

My moments in the clouds are all too often, too few. That, I am still learning.....I'm learning how to make time to get lost in His puffy whiteness. It is there that I find Him and I can think more clearly when I come down.

His mercy still flows and His grace still comes.

Come on let's go for a walk!

Have you ever seen such a magnificent blue? The plumes on his head, he looks like he's dressed for the ball. His coat tails are like no other I've seen. Could such beauty come from an explosion?

Ever since I was a little girl my Daddy would say, "come on let's go for a walk!" I guess that's why I love to walk today. Not just to walk, but to explore. This is God's country.  My kids are following in my footsteps as I did with my Dad.

It's amazing to me how everything has it's place and a purpose. My little mind can't wrap around such things. Then again it's not suppose to. We are here to stand in awe and in praise of the one who created all things. All creatures great and small.

Then the Lord God took dust from the ground and formed a man from it. He breathed the breath of life into the man's nose, and the man became a living person. Genesis 2:7

 Nothing else makes sense, nothing else comes together. Beauty does not crawl out of the water in the form of a fish and then transform into something as magnificent as the peacock.

I really would encourage you to go for a walk, take your kids and camera. All God created things are AMAZING! Your faith will grow, and if your not sure what you believe, it should surely make you ask questions and explore more.

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. Ralph Waldo Emmerson

For a good start on your creation verses evolution study Go to http://www.wayofthemaster.com/
And there is a really good book for science class ---Evolution The Grand Experiment By Dr. Carl Werner. There is also a dvd set called Incredible Creatures that defy Evolution

We had a good walk.

Louder than the buzzing of a thousand bees.

Blossoms are in abundance this year. We have been here over 15 years now, and this the first year I've seen this row of trees come in full bloom.

Along with the blooms comes the buzzing of a thousands bees. They were loud enough that their buzz brought us outside. We broke away from the books to take a look. My boys are watching the bees and I am watching my boys. The little one is his shadow. My gentle giant, that's what I call him. He has passed me in height now.

I miss him already. He hasn't gone any where, but someday he will. This little man of mine with his big blue eyes and his soft blond curls, that use to sit in my lap and snuggle with me. Sometimes it seemed like we would stay in the rocking chair all day. He has always been gentle, quiet and sweet. His sister would disagree with me.

 He loves his Mama. I don't believe he has ever raised his voice to me but, I have to him........that hurts to think about.The bees were loud, but my voice has been louder than the buzzing of a thousand bees. I hope that when he leaves home some day that he won't remember me raising my voice too much. That is something I am still working on, And with God I am doing better. I just hope I was not too late. They always say better late than never........But I know that's not always true.

 They also say you are much harder on your first child. I wonder if he even realizes how much I love him, or how much he has taught me over the years. My Sweet Gentle Giant if I could go back in time and erase all of the mistakes I've made while learning how to be a good mommy, I truly would.

I cherish you!