Did She Love?

Walking and living this life can find you choking back tears and feeling the burn of the years that laid the tracks behind you.

It's always the rushing and speeding through the days and if you could just get a grip.....If you could just breathe......

I will be turning 44 next month.........Age never really bothered me. I love the milestones. I love standing in the moment and looking back at my tracks. No matter how painful, it's okay to look back once in a while...to Remember where He found you but, it's so much more important to see where He has brought you. What are my tracks like you ask? Some are very faint and others laid thick and black like the hot rubber spinning off the tires as it melted into the pavement...And some are not even there at all. I'm not sure what is worse...The thick black track or the invisible one. Nothing in this life goes un-redeemed.....

As I sit here thinking about life and what really matters, there is one question that keeps running through my mind........

Did she love? Did she love with a full and selfless heart. Did she love until it hurt? Love until it wasn't all about her anymore?

Am I loving like Christ loved the church? Because Christ loved the broken, dirty, trampled on soul......He was not prejudice....His love poured on all who would soak it in........

I wonder if I'm loving enough? I wonder if I turn my love off at certain times of the day? Like a faucet that that needs a quick turn am I pouring out all my love?

Because life can get insanely crazy and there are days when I look back at my rubber laid tracks and they are still smoking.......

Because He is perfect LOVE, His cup runneth over.....A constant stream of living water can wash over my soul and flood out all that's selfish, all that's hurtful. This Mama, she wants to love like Christ.....

I want to be able to answer that question.......No, I want my children and my man to be able to answer that question  with a smile as they quietly nod their head yes..........I want my family and friends and those I lay my tracks near to be able to answer that question with a humble yes.

Did she Love with a selfless heart? Did she stop and take care of my need before hers? Did she refuel when her love seemed to be all tapped out? Did she know where to go when life went dry?

With out that kind of  love this world gets ever darker....

In my corner of the world I want to LOVE with a selfless kind of LOVE.........

Will they look back at my tracks and see CHRIST?

When they are asked the question, Did she love? Will they be able to say yes?